World Without Words
by Lotusxdoll
Summary: Timid and spineless Alice loves her cheating husband Shane, but harbours questionable feelings for the very married Rick. In a world overrun by the walking dead, how will her own personal soap opera play out? Rick/O.C
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I am obviously a fan of the Walking Dead and this idea has been floating around in my head for some time now. I tried to keep it as true to the show as I could without making anyone seem out of character. Anyway, please enjoy =)**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead**_

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The sun had just risen above the horizon, its soft rays peeking through the open curtains of the bedroom. Motionlessly, a young woman lay in bed with the sheets bunched up at her waist, allowing the warm rays to kiss the exposed skin of her arms. She had been up for hours staring at the door, unable to sleep. She took a deep breath before sitting up in her bed, bringing her knees to her chest and cradling them. Her eyes were misty with unshed tears. She wanted to cry, but what would be the point anymore?

Her naturally tan, bony hand reached out to the other side of the bed, softly stroking the pillow that was cool against her kind hand. His scent still lingered from the last time he laid his head there. The cologne he wore was strong and woodsy, but she always enjoyed the smell on him. She felt pathetic for touching a pillow with so much affection, but it was the only thing she could offer her love to. She wanted to hold him, tell him she loved him, but he was no where in site. All she had was a pillow that smelled like him.

She turned her alarm clock off before it could even start its obnoxious beeping. It was time for her to get ready for work and she was dead tired. Her back ached and her head pounded softly from her lack of sleep. Forcing her thin frame from bed, she stiffly dragged her bare feet to the bathroom.

She frowned as she eyed her reflection. Dark purple circles had made a permanent home under her eyes it seemed. Her face was slightly sunken, making her china blue eyes and cheek bones stand out more. She touched her reflection, pressing her fingertips hard against the mirror, just wanting to touch something, anything. Maybe this face had driven him away. She had never been considered beautiful, a gem, not like the girls he used to date.

Why had he married her? Her eyes darted to her modest wedding band at the thought. She always wondered what he saw in her. For as long as she knew him, Shane Walsh had dated girls that could pass for models, even back in high school.

They were always thin with straight pearly teeth, flowing hair that was never out of place, and charming personalities that only southern girls could possess. Those were the girls guys drooled over and fought to get on their arms.

Nothing was special about her though. Her hair was always limp to the touch and she was far too shy to be charming. She never even made a man take a second look at her or flirtatiously compliment her. She sometimes found herself longing to have a man tell her how pretty she was. She wasn't fishing for compliments, she knew she was alright on the eyes, well at least she thought she was. Being called pretty was something she rarely heard.

She was dressed in her minty green scrubs and white crocs, ready for work. Standing in front of the mirror, she pinned on her name tag that read 'Alice Walsh'. She loved her job at the town's hospital. She knew just about everyone and they all knew her. Nothing made Alice feel more fulfilled than helping people, well besides dancing.

Alice hummed softly to herself, swaying to the sound of her own music as she fixed her stringy honey blonde hair in a ponytail. It had been so long since she had gone dancing. Shane had never taken her, even when they were dating. When she had actually thought about it, other than their first dance at their wedding, she couldn't recall a time he danced. Even then, at the happy occasion, his heart didn't seem fully into it. It was almost as if even then he knew he could never love her fully.

However, would be a lie to say Shane didn't love her in some way. What way was what she couldn't figure out. He always swore he'd never settle down, but something about Alice made him take that step. Shane's mother had told her it was because he was tired of superficial women without personality and wanted something meaningful.

Alice didn't know what it was, and to ask Shane would be pointless. He had a way of avoiding her questions to the point that she forgot she even asked one. She knew those on the outside looking in couldn't understand why she stayed with him.

Most people figured it was because of her religious upbringing that wouldn't allow her to divorce him, but that wasn't it. At least that wasn't all of it.

She loved Shane and even though he could treat her so badly, he had a way of making her forget when he would start to romance her. He would whisper sweet nothings in her ear, make her feel special and like she was the only one, but she knew she wasn't. She never could be because it wasn't in Shane's nature to be with one woman.

Maybe he could love a woman, but not be in love. She always found herself trying to rationalize his behavior. It had been told to her a few times that if she had to think of excuses for how he was, there was a problem.

There was a problem though, and Alice knew it was her. It had to be because she wasn't trying hard enough to keep him happy. Maybe if she cooked better, dressed better, gave him what he wanted in bed, he would have been there with her. Maybe he would love her like she loved him.

Both her swaying and humming halted when she heard knocking at her front door. She frowned to herself, wondering who would show up to her house early in the morning. She gently placed her milky white, plastic brush on the sink and made her way down the stairs of the quiet house.

Peeking through the curtains, a soft smile curled her lips. She quickly opened the door, excited to see the person that stood behind it. A woman with wavy dark brown hair, holding a book to her chest, smiled at Alice.

"It's not too early, is it?" she asked before stepping into the house.

"Not at all." Alice replied as the two women embraced each other warmly. "Where's my favorite boy?" she asked, looking back outside, wondering if she had missed the child.

"His father is driving him taking him to school." The woman answered, frowning deeply.

"Is that why you're here this early?"

Nodding slightly, she started to speak. "Somethin' like that. Me and Rick got into it again last night. He's trying to butter me up by taking Carl to school, but I was still too mad to even look at him this morning." Alice frowned, closing the front door.

"Lori, he's a good man you know." She spoke, watching her thin friend walk towards the kitchen.

"I know that Alice." Lori replied quickly as she took a seat at the kitchen table. "It's just, he's hardly home any more. He works all the time. I asked him if he cared about work more than me and Carl, and do you know what he said?"

Alice followed behind her and started the coffee maker, knowing Lori would ask for a cup. "What?"

"He said that he had to protect the town so it could be safer for me and Carl. He didn't even answer the question."

"He kind of did though." she shyly spoke.

"No, he didn't." she replied, brooding.

"He's trying to make it safe for you guys, obviously he cares."

"A safe town isn't gonna spend time with Carl." She replied, covering her face with her hand.

"I'm sure Carl understands-"

Her hand slipped off her face and slammed onto the table. "How would you know what he understands? You don't know how a child feels without a parent around. When you're a mother, you'll understand why this bothers me so much." Lori snapped. She quickly covered her mouth, remorse washing over her. Alice bit her lip, eyeing her crocs. Lori shot up from her seat and quickly pulled Alice into a tight hug. She knew she had said too much. "I'm so sorry…"

"It's… Let's just forget it. I'll make you a cup of coffee." Alice pulled away from the hug and quickly walked over to the cabinet with all the mugs.

"Have you two talked about it?" Lori hesitantly asked.

"What's there to talk about? He doesn't think it's the right time for us to have kids."

"Maybe if you sat Shane down and-"

"Look, one day we'll have kids. If Shane says now's not the time, then we'll just wait till he's ready."

Lori's brows knitted together as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And just how is that fair to you? Alice, you've wanted kids since you got married. That was five years ago." Alice slammed down a mug, making Lori jump.

"Shane knows what's best for us, alright?! That's it."

"Stop defending him!" Lori knew she was pushing it. "What has Shane done for you that makes him worth staying with?! When's the last time he came home and stayed?"

"Shut up Lori…" Alice felt her chest tighten. "You don't know what you're talking about-"

"Everyone has seen that tramp he's been parading around town with!" Alice felt her breathing stop for a moment. Lori's face dropped when she realized Alice had no idea what was really going on.

"Shane's been… Going around town with her?" she stumbled to the table and flopped down in a chair, burying her face into her hands. "I knew he was with her… But to go out in public…" She wanted to be mad, yell, throw things, but all she could do was sit there and feel like everything wrong was her fault somehow.

"I'm so sorry Alice." Lori soothingly rubbed her friends back. "I thought you knew he was going out with her. If I had known, I would have never…"

"No, it's alright. I rather hear it from you anyway." Alice mumbled.

"What are you gonna do?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders, bringing her hands from her face. "I have no idea Lori."

* * *

_**And so that concludes the first part!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer_**_**: So obviously I don't own the Walking Dead. If I did, I'd be the happiest girl in the world =), but I don't =(**_

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The hospital cafeteria was full, but somehow Alice had managed to find a table with two chairs. Chatter from both employees and patients filled her ears as she took a seat, placing her homemade lunch on the table. She was exhausted. More and more patients were coming in with flu like symptoms and wounds that wouldn't heal. Band-aids and stitches wouldn't keep wounds from bleeding and antibiotics seemed to be useless.

Since she had started working at the hospital four years ago, she had never seen so many people sick at once. The doctors were all confused and met daily trying to figure out what was happening.

"Why are you pouting now?" a female asked, taking the seat across from hers. "I come all this way to see you, and I have to look at you making," she poked Alice's forehead playfully. "that face."

"Shut up Jessica." Alice mumbled, taking her triangular cut sandwich out of a ziplock bag. "I told you I'd stop by the house tonight to see you, you're the one that wanted to come have lunch with me."

"Forgive me for wanting to spend some time with my big sister without mom and dad listening to every word we say. You know how hard it is to talk about anything in that house that doesn't have to do with the church, the bible, or God." Jessica started to smirk. "How could I tell you all about my new boyfriend and the amazing sex we have?"

Alice frowned, putting her sandwich down. "There goes my appetite. I don't need to imagine you having sex before I eat."

"Sometimes I wonder how we're sisters. We're so different." Jessica had a thoughtful look on her face, twirling a few strands of her light blonde hair around her finger. "Maybe mom had an affair we never knew about and boom! I was conceived. What if it was that pastor from our church! He has really light blond hair like me you know. I think I may have seen him giving mom the eye once."

"The eye?" Alice repeated, amused. Her sister always could cheer her up, even without knowing it.

"You know, the eye. Like that secret look you give a person that you've slept with but no one knows except you two." Jessica paused for a moment, eyeing her sister strangely. "I don't know why I said that like you know what I'm talking about. Only guy you've slept with is that lame husband of yours. You know who he's sleeping with now, don't you?" she boldly asked. Jessica had never been one to tip-toe around an issue.

"Jessica, now's not the time." Alice warned, giving her a deadpanned look.

"It's Loose Lucy. I saw them eating lunch yesterday at that nice BBQ place by the farmers market." She continued talking, ignoring her older sister. "I wanted to go up to him and punch him right in his eye, but he's the deputy so I know he'll put me in jail."

"You talk a lot." Alice commented, trying to change the subject. She didn't want to admit how much she felt her heart break. Alice knew Loose Lucy, everyone did. She was very nice on the eyes and Alice would have been lying if she said she wasn't somewhat jealous of her.

"And your husbands a man whore. See, we've all got problems, now don't we." She rudely replied.

"You don't understand, I love him."

"Yeah, so does all the other women he's fucked."

"Watch your language."

"Whatever." She waved a dismissive hand. "Look, I'm saying this because I love you. All he does is hurt you Alice. Grow some balls and leave him already. You're getting old."

Alice frowned. "You're really not helping."

"Alice, I was looking all over for you. I forgot you have lunch now." Both girls stopped their conversation and turned their attention to the intruding voice. "Jessica, when did you get back?"

"Rick!" Jessica jumped up and hugged him tightly. "It's so good to see you! I was wondering where you were hiding." She released him and sat back down. "I got in yesterday morning. Finals were over, so I decided to come home for my summer break."

"Is something wrong Rick?" Alice asked, looking up at the tall, thin man. She noticed his face was scruffy from not shaving. His crystal blue eyes looked back at her.

His eyes. She always liked them. They had a calming effect on her like listening to the sea through a seashell. They had a way of always making her feel like things would work out, yet there was something fierce about them. It was like a warning not to get on his bad side.

"Not really. I mean yeah, but nothing serious."

"What do you mean not really?" she tilted her head, confused.

"I need the magical hands of Nurse Walsh to remove some stitches for me." He joked.

"Where at?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's on my torso. I got cut by some guy we were trying to bring in two weeks ago."

"So you passed by plenty of nurses and doctors who could help, just to get my sister to do it?" Jessica asked, resting her arms on the table and leaning forward. Her brown eyes held a knowing glint as she looked up at the man. Rick had missed it, but Jessica wasn't surprised. He and her sister seemed to not notice a lot of things.

"Well when you put it like that… It sounds dumb. But she does it in a way that doesn't really hurt."

"See Alice, why couldn't you find a guy like-"

"So let's go remove your stitches." Alice interrupted, pushing her chair back so she could get up. Her sister would always joke about her needed to find a man like Rick. "I'll be back." She told her sister before leading Rick away from the cafeteria.

"There you go, all better now." Alice spoke as she placed the small scissors down on a metal tray.

"Thanks. I haven't met someone who can make getting stitches removed pleasant like you." She playfully rolled her eyes while removing her latex gloves.

"Whatever Rick."

"No really." Alice stepped back, giving him space to stand up so he could put his shirt back on. He didn't have an amazing body nor was he as muscular as Shane. Shane always took pride in his athletic build.

Rick was thin and lean. Lori always complained about Rick's chest hair, but Alice had always liked it secretly. Though it was wrong, she would occasionally steal glances at him whenever he was shirtless around her. Usually it was because he was injured, but she couldn't help it. "That's why I always come to you whenever I get myself injured or need to have something checked."

"Oh, that's why? I thought it was because I do it for free." She jested.

"Well that too." He joked back, laughing lightly. There was a moment of silence. Alice took a deep breath before speaking again. She had to know.

"Is it true that Shane's been going around town with Lucy Owens?"

"Who?"

"Loose Lucy." Alice said, repeating her sister's words.

Rick frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"So it's true."

"I didn't say that." he quickly replied. She smiled bitterly, feeling the sting of unshed tears.

"Rick, I know when you're lying. You're left eyebrow always twitches when you lie."

"Look," he let out sigh knowing she was right. "I tried talking to him, but you know how Shane is."

"I knew he was seeing someone, I just didn't think… He hasn't come home for three days…. And now I know where he's been sleeping." She bit her trembling lower lip to keep from crying.

"Come here." He pulled the pitiful woman into his long arms, holding her close. She buried her face in his chest, still refusing to cry. "Shane's an idiot. He just doesn't see how good he has it with you Alice."

She looked up at him pathetically. He could see the bags under her eyes more clearly in the hospital lights. She was losing sleep over Shane.

"What's wrong with me Rick? Why doesn't he want to be with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you Alice." His voice grew low. He didn't know what was happening, but his heart beat was slowly increasing. '_you're perfect_' kept echoing in his mind. He wasn't sure why he thought it, but he knew better than to say it. It was probably because she was one of his longest friends and naturally he saw little flaw in her, right?_ Yeah, that had to be it_. Nothing more.

Alice let her eyelids close slowly as Rick placed a calloused hand on her soft cheek. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment. He had meant for it to be brotherly, but it felt far from it to both parties.

They both stood in each other's arms, neither speaking. He took in her scent that had always been uniquely hers. Peaches and strawberries. It was an odd combination, yet she always smelled like it and truthfully, it calmed him.

Rick knew he should have let her go; in fact, he should never have even hugged her. However, he could not because at that moment all his problems seemed to melt away. All the stress he was having at home with Lori was far from his mind and it felt good. He loved his wife, but there were things she just didn't understand, even if those things were what was best for her and their son.

Alice pulled away from Rick, refusing to meet his eyes. He took his deputy's hat off and ran his fingers through his dark messy hair. She gave him a small smile as she reached up and gently pushed stray strands from his face. He carefully grabbed her hand to move it, but held onto it instead.

"I have to get back to work." She spoke, her voice cracking slightly.

"Same here." He let her hand go, wondering if he had really felt reluctant to do so or if he had imagined it. "I need to go back to the office. I'm sure there's some work just waiting for me." He glanced at her before leaving her alone in the room. She placed her hand over her racing heart and let out a breath she had been holding since he took her hand.

Alice couldn't explain why she had felt the way she did around Rick. He made her laugh and always said the right words, but he was her friend. Of course he would be able to do those things. Jessica could make her laugh as well, so it had to mean nothing.

Deep down she knew what it meant, but she shoved the thought out of her mind.

* * *

Surprise would have been an understatement for how Alice felt when she pulled into her driveway and saw her husband's land rover parked in the drive way. She had to force herself not to shift to reverse and leave out of panic.

As she climbed the stairs to her bedroom slowly, she felt her hands shaking. She tried to tell herself there was nothing to worry about, but her mind couldn't be easily fooled.

On the bed sat her husband, messing with his phone. He always kept it locked with a password he refused to tell Alice. He looked up and smiled, but there was nothing inviting about it.

"Look who's home. Come give me a kiss." When she didn't move from her spot by the door he let out a sigh, running his fingers through his dark hair and stood up from the bed. She backed away when he reached out to her. "What the hell is your problem woman?" He always had been easily frustrated.

"You ain't been home in days Shane." She answered. Alice tried to sound strong, but the exact opposite happened. Her voice was small and trembled.

"I been busy." His shifting brown eyes told her he wasn't being truthful.

"With what?"

"None of your business Alice. I ain't come home to put up with this."

"Why'd you come home at all?"

"What? You want me to leave cause I'll go somewhere I'm wanted." He walked over to the closet and started to grab clothes.

She took a step forward. "What are you doing Shane?" her lower lip started to tremble. She wanted to let him go, she knew it was for the best, but Alice wasn't ready to.

"Leaving. You don't want me here." he answered, still grabbing his clothes.

"W-wait Shane. I… Don't go." Shane threw the clean deputy shirt he had been holding on the bed and walked over to Alice. His figure hovered over her.

"You don't want me to go?"

"No Shane."

"Tell me you want me to stay."

For some odd reason, she felt nauseous. "I want you to stay Shane." He smirked as he pulled her into his arms. It was nothing like the embrace she and Rick had shared earlier in the day.

"You know I love you Alice." He meant it.

"Do you love her too?"

"Who?"

"Lucy."

Shane frowned and held her from him at arm's length. "Now why would I love Lucy?" he asked. She felt her heart break when he didn't even try to lie and say he wasn't sleeping with Lucy. "I married you for a reason."

"Now you're gonna tell me it was just sex."

"It was just sex."

"Shane, I…."

"Alice, forget about it. I'm done with Lucy. I had my fun and I apologize." Nothing about his apology sounded sincere. He tapped her chin in an attempt to lighten the mood, but she just felt like he was mocking her. "Get dressed in something nice, I'm taking you out tonight."

"I…" she really didn't want to go anywhere. "Ok."

* * *

_**There goes chapter two and yay Rick was in this one! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: I am sad to admit that I do not own the Walking Dead, but if I did... I'd be so awesome!_**

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"Mrs. Walsh, your husband's here." Alice looked up a patient's file she had been reading. This patient, Mr. Olson, never had fallen ill because of his strong immune system, but for some reason he was sick as a dog with it. Everything hurt him. He claimed even breathing hurt. He had a scratch on his forearm. He had said a crazy man tried to bite him. The scratch was still bleeding.

"That's odd. He's supposed to be on duty. Did he say why he was here?" the nurse shook her head.

"He's on the OR floor though. He says to hurry, I think it might be serious." Alice nodded and quickly took off.

The first thing Alice saw was Lori crying, her face buried in her sons hair as she held him close to her. Carl had a few tears rolling down his cheeks, but he was silent, trying to be strong for his mom. Alice felt a pang in her heart. Something definitely was wrong. She assumed the worse. Rick was dead. Shane stood against a wall; his head leaned back on it and tear stains glistening on his cheeks. She walked over to him and placed her dainty hand on his strong shoulder.

"What… Happened?"

"Rick, he got shot. Oh, God, Rick got shot and… And I couldn't do nothing about it!" he grabbed Alice and sobbed into her hair. She held him close, feeling tears build in her own eyes. "I saw the guy pull out the gun! I tried to tell Rick! But it was too late! What am I gonna do if he dies Alice?"

Before Alice could say anything to bring comfort, the OR doors were pushed open. The doctor removed his protective face mask. The grim expression on his face worried Alice. Lori let go of her son to move closer to the doctor, her hand covering her trembling mouth. Everyone's attention was on the doctor.

"Well… He was critically injured. He's out of the red zone now. He's alive, but it's up to his body from this point on if he wakes up or not." The doctor looked at Carl with sad eyes. He had a son at home about his age. "You can see him in a bit. Talk to him. It may help him wake up."

* * *

Alice flopped down in the chair next to Rick's bed, exhausted. Her feet ached from being stood on all day and her body begged for her to go home and soak in a nice warm bath, but she couldn't leave yet. She had to check on Rick. She knew he would still be unconscious, but that didn't stop her from constantly occupying the seat near his bed.

The only sounds heard in the room was his heart monitor. Laying still in the bed, she watch his chest rise and fall softly. He could breath on his own without the help of machines now, but he still looked so fragile. The room smelled like disinfectant and flowers. He had been pretty popular at work, everyday someone was sending him flowers and get well cards. Had he been awake, he would have said he didn't need all that attention, but would have still been grateful.

Rick had drifted in and out of consciousness since he had been shot, but he never stayed awake for more than a few seconds. It wasn't much, but it was enough to give everyone hope that he would be alright. Alice wanted him to open his blue eyes soon, she wanted to hear his deep voice and laugh. Most of all, she wanted to see him smile again.

The lights were off; the moon light illuminated the room. He looked so peaceful under the moonlight that landed perfectly on his pale face. Alice felt as if she were intruding on him sleeping. She reached out hesitantly, and ran her soft fingertips against his unshaven cheek. She smiled softly to herself at the roughness she felt.

Alice leaned forward in her chair, pressing her fingers to his forehead gently, then running them without a path down his face.

Her movement stopped when she touched his lips.

His soft, thin lips.

For a moment, the young woman forgot herself as she stood up from her chair and hovered over the man. She leaned her face close to his, his breathing tickling her nose. Her lips were so close to his, but all she could do was stay perfectly still like a statue.

If she kissed him, no one would know, right? It would only happen one time and it would be her secret to take to the grave. She knew no one would ever know, yet she backed away from him. She bit her lower lip as she pushed some of his hair from his face.

She had developed the habit when they were still in high school. It was a small gesture of affection, but it meant enough for her to do it only when they were alone.

Shaking her head, she began to leave the room. Alice looked back at him once more before opening his room door and stepping out. What had she been thinking? She wanted to kick herself. Rick was her friend and there was no reason to even think of kissing him.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: I would like to thank everyone that reviewed! I appreciated it so much guys! And I also want to thank the readers!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead**_

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"Have you watched the news?" Alice asked, sitting on the bed, watching her husband pull on his white t-shirt.

He glanced at her, putting his deputy shirt on. "Nope." He answered, buttoning the tan shirt slowly in front of the mirror. "Why?"

"They say the flu's going around. It's pretty bad. The patients I've been seeing with it are in terrible shape. Four died just last night."

He shot a cocky smirk at his wife. "I don't get sick."

The blonde frowned. "Shane, just be careful. It's really bad."

"Alright, alright." He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. She smiled as he pulled back. He smirked, pushing her back on the bed and straddling her. "You can be a little late for work, can't you?" before she could answer, he started to kiss down her neck, quickly trying to pull her scrub pants down.

* * *

Alice stared at the ceiling, frowning. Shane laid beside her and though she couldn't see it, she knew he was smirking. She sat up and reached for her pants and panties.

"Woo am I the man or what baby?" she was sure that if he could, he would have given himself a high-five.

"You're the man."

"I always give it to you good don't I?"

"You sure do." she dully agreed, but he didn't catch her tone.

"I know it's been a while since we've done that, but I promise you sweet thing, I ain't gonna leave you craving your man no more." He stretched his arms out above his head and threw the covers off himself.

"Please do." She mumbled as she wiggled into her pants.

"What was that baby?"

"I said please don't leave me craving you." With a cocky look on his face, he started to redress himself. She couldn't tell him how much she didn't like having sex. She didn't see why people enjoyed it so much, it always ended too fast and never felt that good to her. Her sister said it was because Shane was doing it wrong, but Alice was sure she was the problem. If Shane was bad at sex, why would other women be falling all over themselves to sleep with him? She had to be the problem, not Shane. Alice always told herself while they were having sex that one day it would feel amazing and she would understand why she was so lucky to share a bed with Shane.

Until then, she would deal with the growling sounds he made as if he were in a zoo, the sweat from his face that would sometimes drip into her eyes, and the unimpressive finale of their lovemaking. Or as Shane liked to call it, giving her what she needs.

Alice always assumed Shane was great in bed, it wasn't like she had anyone else to compare him to.

"You ready yet? I'll take you to work. I gotta drop by the hospital to check on Rick for Lori anyway." Alice nodded as she stood up, redressed in her green scrubs.

* * *

The two drove in a comfortable silence, only the soft hum of the radio could be heard. Shane had surprised Alice when he had decided to sleep at home four nights in a row. She supposed he was really done with Loose Lucy.

Alice tried her best not to anger him since he had returned home. She still feared that he would run off again with another woman if she messed up. She had even gone back to wearing makeup in an attempt to make him see she was trying to please him and be attractive for him. Dinner was cooked for him, and for four nights, she made all his favorites. She wasn't sure he noticed how hard she had been trying because he never commented on it.

Her sister, Jessica, had called her stupid for taking him back without hesitation. She said he would never be faithful to her and she was just deceiving herself into thinking he meant any part of his half-assed apology. Once a cheater, always a cheater she would say. What did Jessica know anyway? She was just a kid still. It would work this time, because she was going to try harder to keep him and make him see he didn't need another woman.

Once the couple reached the hospital, they both went their separate ways. Shane placed a quick peck on his wife's lips before strolling off to Rick's room. Shane had checked on Rick during the day and when he could, he would bring Carl. Lori visited her husband once a week, even though everyone knew she could come more often. No one said anything about it, but it was obvious something wasn't right.

Alice went right to work the moment she entered the hospital, checking on the sick patients that weren't getting any better.

"I don't understand it." Dr. Monroe, a pudgy short man, spoke. His grey hair was combed over his bold spot in the center of his head. "No matter what I give them, they just keep getting worse." He rubbed his tired eyes in frustration as he placed a patient's chart down. Alice timidly placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She was too shy for her own good she thought.

"You'll figure it out, I'm sure you will." She shyly reassured. Half of the day had gone by and more sick patients kept coming in. No one knew what was going on.

"My college buddy called me the other day. He works at UCLA. He told me he's been seeing patients with similar symptoms and nothing has been working on them either. Alice, I'm starting to think this isn't just the flu anymore."

"What else could it be? I mean, the symptoms are there."

He shook his head in defeat. "I know… But, something just isn't right."

"Dr. Monroe!" a young intern with fiery red hair rushed up to them. She grasped onto his arm, panting hard. "Dr. Monroe!" she repeated.

"What is it? Something happen?"

"The military! They're down stairs."

"Why would they be-"

"They have their guns and are in their armor!" she looked around in sheer terror. "We need to get out of here! They're gonna kill us!"

"Calm down!" Dr. Monroe held her tightly by her upper arms. "You must be seeing things, the military would never come here like that." She violently pulled away from him.

"You don't understand! They're gonna kill us! Do you hear me?! Kill us!"

Alice slowly stepped forward. "Why… Why would they do that?"

"It has to do with those sick people. I don't know what's going on, but their gonna kill us!" the intern yelled before running off again.

Alice opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of the crash cart being knocked over stopped her. Everyone on the floor stopped what they were doing to see what caused the nose.

"What in the world…" Alice muttered to herself. A man with bloated, grey skin walked stiffly, dragging his feet and moaning lowly. His eyes were an off white, but that wasn't what alarmed everyone. It was the gaping bite on the side of his neck that did.

"No…" Dr. Monroe started to back away, his mouth hanging open. "No, he was dead… I pronounced him dead last night. He can't be… This isn't real…"

The 'dead' man reached out and grabbed a nurse before she could run by the hair. She screamed, begging for the thing to let her go. Tears began to pour from her eyes while her outstretched arms reached for anything grab on so she could pull herself away.

Everyone was in shock; no one knew what to do. She let out a scream that made Alice's blood run cold as the 'man' bit into her neck. She scratched at its arms, still trying to free herself, but he grabbed her hand and bit into it as well. She dropped to her knees, crying and screaming in agony.

Suddenly, Alice was being shoved in different directions as everyone started to run in a panic. She wanted to join them in fleeing, but her feet refused to move. She watched with wide eyes as another creature shuffled slowly out of a room, this one was dragging an IV pole that was still connected to its arm.

Alice opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. To say she was scared would have been putting it lightly. A man running shoved her into a nearby wall as he ran away. It was the awakening her body needed because her legs were able to move again. She started to run, not sure where was safe. Something told her to go to Rick's room.

She ran up the stairs as if the devil himself was on her tail. Gasping for air, she threw the door to the eighth floor open. People were running in panic on that floor as well. A few people shoved past her, running down the stairs. With all her strength, she pushed through the small crowd and ran towards Rick's room

A few men dressed in military uniforms were marching behind a few nurses and doctors. Alice was about to go over to them and ask for help, but she stopped when she saw them aim their guns at the people and begin to execute them. Her hands flew over her mouth, muffling her screams. She would cry later, now she had to find Rick.

Alice ducked down and ran to Rick's room. She heard more guns being fired, but she tried to block it out. A sigh of relief escaped her lips once she found his room.

Slamming his door close, she leaned against it. Alice looked around the room with wide eyes, trying to find a way out. Much to her dismay, she saw nothing that would help them. Her palms started to get damp with her sweat.

"I gotta go… We gotta get out… Oh God, what's happening!" She had a thousand thoughts running though her mind as she approached Ricks bed. She started to slap his face in an attempt to wake him up. "Wake up! Damn you Rick, you need to wake up!"

Rick's eyes remained closed. Alice let out a frustrated scream as she kicked the chair by his bed. She was angry that he wouldn't wake up and scared that they would both die in the hospital. Outside were more of those things and it didn't help that if anyone from the military found them, they would be shot. Her heart started to sink as the realization hit her: there was no way to get out alive.

Rick's door was kicked opened, scaring Alice. She ducked under his bed, scared that it was one of those living dead.

"Alice!" She peeked from her hiding spot, recognizing the voice calling her. She crawled from the bed and shakily stood up. "Under the bed? Really Alice?"

"Shane, we need to help Rick!" she ignored his mocking tone as he closed the door. "I… I can't think of a way to get him-"

Shane ran over and attempted to lift him off the bed, but the heart monitor Rick was connected to wouldn't allow him to lift Rick but so far.

"Shit… Alice we gotta get this crap off him." He pulled his gun out and placed it on the side table by the bed.

"I.. I know Shane, but I can't… I don't know if that's smart."

"What do you mean?! You know what's going on out there! We gotta get out!"

"But he's in a coma. He might die if we-"

"If we what?! Weren't you gonna do that same thing?!" before she could answer, multiple gun shots rang out and dust from the ceiling dropped as the room shook. Then the power went out. "Shit.. Is he alive?!" Alice stood still. Shane let out a frustrated growl and grabbed her arm. Yanking her closer to the bed, he picked up and pointed with his gun at Rick. "Is he alive Alice?!" his voice cracked, afraid to hear the answer.

Her hands shook as she reached out to find his pulse. Her mind was blank and she wasn't sure what she was doing, but she knew she didn't feel anything.

"I don't feel nothing."

"What? No… No…" More gunshots were heard as Shane placed his head on his best friends chest in an attempt to hear a heartbeat. "I don't hear… Oh, Rick…" his eyes watered. The door started to open. Shane grabbed Alice and pulled her under the bed. She could see the heavy black military boots. She held her breath and silently prayed they would not be seen. She let out a shaky breath when the military men left. Shane stood up first, still holding his gun.

"We gotta leave him Alice." He looked at his best friend, sorrow filled his eyes.

"We… We can't leave him Shane."

"Look, I don't want to, but fuck Alice, how else we gonna get out of here alive? The military is ready to shoot this place up. It was hard enough for just me to get up here. He won't wake up Alice… He's dead."

"But… Rick… I can't leave him! We can't just leave him! What if he is alive and we're wrong! I was nervous when I checked for his pulse! What's wrong with you! We can't leave! That ain't right-" Shane slapped her, catching her by surprise. It wasn't meant to hurt her, it was supposed to silence her, which it did.

"We have to go. You and I. I love you Alice, I ain't gonna let nothing happen to you, you hear me?" she nodded, tears rolling down her cheek. "I wanted to save Rick… But baby I can't. He's gone. Now we gotta go before them military men come back in here." He pulled her out of the room.

Alice watched him look at Rick remorsefully before leaving. Alice closed Rick's door and Shane pushed an empty hospital bed in front of his door. They both had hope that this would keep Rick's body safe.

The only sounds heard where gun shots and screams, but Alice was oblivious to it all. Her friend was dead and she had no idea what was happening. She knew Shane was pulling her out the hospital, ducking and pressing against walls so they wouldn't be seen. She was grateful he had come. She knew she would have been doomed if he hadn't.

Shane helped his extremely pale wife into his land rover before jumping into the driver's seat. As soon as he started the engine, they both sat there in silence for a moment. Alice bowed her head, praying for those who had died and were going to die. She prayed for Rick and thanked God she had gotten out.

Shane gripped the steering wheel. He wanted to go back and see if his friend was really dead. He hadn't heard a heartbeat, but it was noisy with all the gun shots. He wanted to bring Rick home to his wife and son, but he had to think about himself and his wife first. He wasn't good at showing it, but he did love Alice and wanted her to be safe.

Glancing at his wife for a moment, he let out a sigh. She had her head down and her fingers laced together on her lap, her hair acting as curtains around her usually tan face. He knew she was praying. Shane started to drive away, tempted to look back at the hospital.

He wasn't sure what was going on, but whatever it was had changed everything in the life he knew. From that moment on, he knew nothing would be the same.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I clearly do not own the Walking Dead. Just Alice

* * *

Alice sat on the lawn chair by the RV, looking at the necklace with a '22' charm dangling from it. Letting out a deep sigh, she leaned back into the chair, lazily watching everyone. There wasn't much to do that day. Everyone was bored, but had managed to find something to do, everyone but her.

A clammy hand covered her eyes. She heard giggling and someone 'shh'ing the laughter.

"Guess who?"

"You ruined it Sophia! Now she knows it's us!" there was a moment of silence before the hand left her eyes. Alice looked behind her to see the little girl frowning.

"Sorry Carl." Carl rolled his eyes, but smiled at her.

"It's alright. Next time let me do it. I always fool Aunt Alice, right?"

Alice laughed, but nodded. "He sure does, but I ain't know it was Sophia till you said her name Carl." Alice lied. Carl frowned.

"So… I gave us away?"

"You sure 'nuff did." She started to tap her chin as if in deep thought. "I think I know a better game though."

"What is it Ms. Alice?" Sophia asked with an excited twinkle in her eyes.

"I don't know if I should tell you guys. It's a secret game." The two kids looked at each other before looking back at her.

"Come on Aunt Alice, we can keep a secret, right Sophia?" the small girl nodded enthusiastically. "What's the game." Carl nearly begged. Alice stood up and crouched down in front of the kids.

"Well… I suppose I can tell you since you can keep a secret and all." She motioned with her hands for them to lean closer to her. "Now you can't tell anyone I taught you this game." They both nodded in anticipation. "It's real simple. All you go gotta do is…" she looked at both of them before breaking out into a grin. She grabbed them both and started to tickle them.

Sophia let out a shriek of laughter, trying to get away from Alice. Carl fell to the ground, laughing and begging Alice to stop.

"Uncle! Uncle!" he cried, clutching his sides. Sophia managed to break away and tried to help Carl.

"Come on!" she giggled. "You gotta get up! Ms. Alice is gonna get me again if you keep laying there!" Somehow, Carl rolled away to safety. He shot a playful glare at Alice.

"I'm gonna get you back soon Aunt Alice, just you wait."

Alice sat back in her chair. "Let's see if you can Mr. Grimes."

She watched the two kids run off, still laughing. It made her smile to see them happy. It had been a while since they could just be carefree kids. It also reminded her of how she and her sister used to be like that when they were kids.

Jessica…

It had been a few weeks since everything had changed. No one was sure how it started, but there was an outbreak. It reanimated the dead. There had been talks of a safe zone in Atlanta, but it turned out to be just a rumor.

After leaving Rick, Shane had driven to Lori's house. He told Alice he promised to take care of them for Rick. Shane gave her a gun and Rick's car keys so she could gather their things at their house. He knew she could use it; he had been the one who taught her in the first place.

During her frantic drive to her house, Alice had tried calling her sister and mother, but the phone lines were dead. Against her better judgment, she stopped at her mother's house. Pulling into the driveway, she saw the front door wide open. She pulled out her gun and looked up to the roof of her car, praying everything was all right.

When she entered the house, glass shards were scattered everywhere and picture frames that hung on the wall lay on the wooden floors. Panic started to rise in her chest. Something was very wrong.

She heard soft sobbing and followed it to the kitchen. The site that waited for her made her stop cold in her tracks. Her hand shot to her mouth, muffling her sob. A man holding a rifle turned around to face her. His hands were shaking and covered in red.

"Alice… Alice you're home." He pointed his long finger at the stove. "Look what your ma did. She cooked up a big dinner for you and Jessica. Everything you girls like. You know I love ma's cooking."

"What happened?" Alice chocked out, her hold on her gun tightening. She saw his bible on the table, open and a bottle of whiskey on the table. He hardly ever drank.

"You're still in your scrubs. You know how much ma likes for you to dress up for dinner Alice. Go home and change."

"What happened?!" she repeated more strongly.

His eyes were glazed over as he pointed to the cross above the stove. "They're with him now Alice. I saved them."

"Oh God!" she cried, sliding down the door frame On the floor in pools of blood were her mother and sister, both shot in the head and motionless. She crawled over to Jessica and moved her blood caked hair from her face.

Her eyes were still open.

"I had to Alice." His gaze from the cross was unwavering. "I couldn't let them become one of those things… I saved them." He repeated. He turned pointed the gun at himself and looked down the barrel.

"Daddy don't!" it had been years since she had called him daddy.

"Sorry I wasn't better to you girls… And your mother." He pulled the trigger, his blood spattering on Alice's face. She let out a shriek, holding Jessica's lifeless body close to hers.

Her family was dead and she had watched her father kill himself.

She wanted to lay next to her sister, talk to her, even though she knew she was already dead. She wanted to hold her until her body went completely cold, but she couldn't. She had to get home and pack. She needed to leave the blood soaked house and get out of town. Kissing her sisters cheek and closing her eyes, Alice weakly pulled herself off the floor and said a prayer out loud.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: I want to say thank you for leaving a review ShyxSkater and Leyshla Gisel! I love feedback! I know the chapters are a little short, but I'm attempting to pace myself. Thank you for reading!_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my sweet Alice sadly._**

* * *

After driving for hours, it dawned on Shane that there was no safe zone. As if luck was on their side, they met a group camping outside of Atlanta. They seemed like good people and had an all right system they were surviving by, so Shane saw no harm staying with them. It wasn't like he had much of a choice anyway. They had limited supplies and had no idea what waited from them beyond that point. He had to keep Lori and Carl safe, he promised his friend, his brother. He also needed to keep himself and his own wife out of harms way.

"It's just like a woman to just sit there and day dream when shit needs to get done." Alice snapped out of her daydream and frowned at the voice.

"There's nothing to do." She shyly spoke.

"There's always somethin' to do. Look at all them squirrels just waiting to be skinned,"

"Daryl, I can't… It's just so… Nasty."

"Nasty?" he repeated in his thick country accent. His crossbow rested on his broad shoulder. It was the one thing he was rarely seen without. "It ain't nasty when you eat them." She shifted uncomfortable in her seat.

"I know… It's just I can't."

"Can't or won't? Don't matter cause if you don't you ain't eating." She let out a defeated sigh, knowing from the look in his blue eyes that he meant it.

"I don't know how to do it." He rolled his eyes.

"Take the knife and skin it. It ain't rocket science. Cut it and gut it." He lifted his sleeveless arm and pointed near his tent. He was tall, lean, and always had a scruffy face. "Get to skinning. I ain't got all day."

Alice wanted to tell him no and to shove it up his ass. She wanted to tell him to speak kinder to her, but she was too scared to say anything. The redneck and his older, larger brother scared her. Out of the two brothers, Daryl was the quieter one, but he did have a short temper. He hardly spoke to any of the campers, but always found time to boss Alice around and give her nasty looks when he passed her.

She hadn't done anything to him, but for some reason he just didn't like her.

Alice got up and walked over the tent that Daryl Dixon shared with his brother. Sitting on a log was an African American woman, already skinning. Alice sat next to her and bit her lip awkwardly. The woman smiled.

"He bullied you into doing this, didn't he?" she asked, handing Alice a sharp hunting knife. She nodded. "You shouldn't let him think he can talk to you like that." She advised.

"But… His temper. I'd rather not deal with it."

"I bet if you stood up to him just once, he'd leave you be."

"Jacqui, I'm not like you. You're good at standing up for yourself. I just can't."

"One day you'll have to. You won't survive this new world if you don't change with it." She wisely advised.

Alice nodded. She wasn't sure what else to say, but that was her problem. She started to frown when she saw Shane and Lori sneak away, giggling like teenagers. When they thought no one was looking, they grabbed each other's hands, disappearing into the woods.

She took a deep breath to keep from crying, not wanting to seem weaker than everyone already thought she was. Jacqui gave her a look of pity, but stayed silent.

Lori hadn't really spoke to her and she hardly made eye contact with Alice. Alice knew Lori acted that way because she thought Alice might have been on to what was going on. The two women used to be so close, now it felt like they didn't know each other.

Everyone at the camp felt like a stranger to her. While Shane held Lori at night and eased her fears, Alice laid alone in a small cot in the RV. No one held her, no one told her she was safe. She was losing her husband again, and this time it was to Lori. She quickly grabbed a squirrel from the line it hung on and began hacking at it, not really knowing what she was doing.

"What the fuck?! I leave you alone for a minute and I find you hacking not skinning!" Daryl yelled as he snatched the knife away.

"Leave her alone Dixon, she tried."

"Tried? You call hacking my shit up as trying? Lucky I can save the mess she made. Get gone, you ain't helping." Alice slowly got up and walked back to the RV. Had she been a dog, her tail would have been tucked between her legs. The whole walk she could still hear Daryl complaining.

She looked down and saw her hands stained with blood. She made a disgusted face as she wiped her hands on her already dirty jeans. She bit her lower lip, she stopped walking and looked in the direction Shane and Lori had run off in. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her hands on the sides of her jeans, wondering if she should follow the pair and catch them in the act, but what would she do after that? Shane would probably just laugh at her and tell her to go back to camp.

The sad part was she would listen if that were to happen.

Rick hadn't been dead for that long, and already Lori had managed to move on. She didn't wear her wedding band on her finger. Now it was on a chain around her neck, next to Ricks. Shane was supposed to look after Rick's family, not screw his wife.

Alice desperately wanted to tell Shane she knew what was going on, and it hurt her. She wanted to tell him he was a bad friend for sleeping with Lori. She needed a backbone to do that though, and apparently, she lacked one.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! The feedback is greatly appreciated _**

**_Disclaimer: I so don't own the Walking Dead_**

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Alice couldn't sleep. Her eyelids were like sandbags, begging for her eyes close for the night, but she refused. She couldn't, not yet.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed before she saw Shane creeping out of Lori's tent, fixing his belt. She watched him unblinkingly from the RV as he grabbed his gun and headed out to do his night watch. Of course she knew what he had been doing and with who, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

She hadn't really spoken to Lori since she had begun sleeping with Shane, partly because she didn't want to have to really acknowledge that her close friend was screwing her husband. The other reason for no speaking to Lori was because she wouldn't know how to handle the situation had the topic ever come up. Never had Alice confronted one of Shane's lovers and that had been the main reason why. What could she possibly say to a woman that saw her husband more in a day than she did?

Lori also avoided Alice, always looking for a reason to get away from her whenever Alice was near. When the two women were close to each other, all Lori would do was shoot her looks of guilt, like silent apologies for what she was going to do in the next few hours. Alice was almost grateful that Lori didn't try to explain herself, she didn't like confrontation anyway.

Lori knew what she was doing was wrong. She had no right to sleep with Shane then claim to be a friend to Alice. She had known about all their problems because Alice was the one that confided in her. Now it looked as if she had been pretending to care about the couple's problems, waiting for the perfect time to snatch Shane. But that was far from what actually happened. Lori missed Rick. There wasn't a day that went by when she didn't think of him. Their marriage wasn't perfect, but that didn't mean she wanted him to die. She regretted not visiting him as much as she should have because of the silly anger she had for him. Shane had comforted her, telling her everything was all right, but at some point it became a physical. They found release in each other, and though it was wrong, neither could stop. It was just sex though, at least to Lori. Her feelings didn't go deeper than that. She cared for Shane, there was no doubt about that, but it was a friendly kind of love. She was sure he understood that was all that was going on between them. He was right, Rick would have wanted her to be happy and for the time being Shane made her happy.

"You're still up huh?" Alice jumped slightly at the sound of someone's voice. There was a light chuckle. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright." She watched the Korean boy slide into the seat across from her. "I thought you were sleeping."

He gave her a friendly smile. "Kind of hard to stay asleep when you have to hear Dale snoring." He joked. She smiled at his joke. They sat in silence for a moment before Alice decided to ask him a question.

"Glenn? You think I'm stupid too, don't you?" Her voice was low and sounded a little timid.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

"Me and Shane. I keep following him like a lost puppy, mean while he's sleeping with Lori. Everyone knows it. It's not like they hide it well."

"I mean…" he searched for the right words for a moment. "I don't think you're stupid. I think you should stop pretending like everything is alright when you're around us. We see it too."

Alice gave an understanding nod. "He's always been this way. Back in high school, he was known for being a womanizer."

"Why'd you marry him then if you don't mind me asking." The Korean boy furrowed his brows, waiting for an answer.

She let out a small sigh before speaking. "He seemed like he changed. I ran into him a few years later at the supermarket of all places, and he seemed like he grew out of it, so I gave him a chance. He was so different when we first got married." She started playing with her wedding band that now was nothing more than a piece of jewelry. "He used to always say sweet things to me just because he wanted to see me smile. Now, it's a miracle if he even looks at me for more than a minute."

"What about Lori? Weren't you friends before all this happened?" Alice let out a bitter laugh.

"Funny, that's what I thought too." She shot a small smile at Glenn before speaking again. She had said too much, but it felt good to say what she really felt. "Thank you for talking to me Glenn. It was nice, but I'm gonna go to bed." Glenn had to admit, she was really pretty. She was on the thin side, lacking curves, but still was a site for sore eyes. Shane was a lucky dog and didn't even know it.

"Hey, tomorrow we're going to the department store to look for supplies. You should come, get a break from Shane and all."

"Oh, I wouldn't be useful. I've never shot a walker." she sheepishly admitted.

"Don't worry. I've gone plenty of times and nothing has ever happened. Besides, you already know how to shoot a gun." she nodded. "It'll be fun stealing and not having to worry about jail." He said playfully, trying to lift her mood. She let out a light laugh.

"I guess you're right. I'm tired of always being at camp. I'll go."

* * *

"Oh lookie here! Sweet tits is tagging along!" Alice frowned at the nickname given to her by the older Dixon. He was tall, about 200 pounds, and looked intimidating. He was the kind of man she was sure was very well acquainted with the law.

"Come on Merle, have some respect for the women around here." T-dog, a muscular African American, spoke.

"What the fuck for? Women are only good for one thing, and ain't nothing respectful about that." Merle said with a dark laugh. Andrea rolled her eyes as she walked to Alice's side.

"Just ignore him. Here," she handed her a loaded hand gun. "take this." Alice nodded as she slipped it in the waistband of her dirty blue jeans.

"Thanks."

"Hold on, why you got a gun Alice?" Shane asked, unsurprisingly emerging from Lori's tent. It was shock that Carl still didn't know the relationship between his mom and his dad's best friend. "You ain't going with them."

"But I want to go." She retorted in a low voice. Shane stood in front of her and held out a waiting hand.

"Give me the gun. You ain't going."

Looking crestfallen, Alice pulled the gun from her waistband and was just about to hand over the glinting piece of metal. She had been so excited to finally leave the camp, even if it meant being stuck with a Dixon for the day.

"Shane let her go. We got her back." T-dog smiled reassuringly at the girl as he spoke.

"She can handle herself; she is the wife of a deputy and all." Jacqui chimed in.

"I think I should go with them Shane. I'm running low on a few things anyway and it wouldn't be right to have them bringing stuff back for me and all."

He frowned. "You? What about me?"

"Oh… I… I meant we're running low on a few things." She stammered, looking down at her sneakers. Shane sighed, but gave in.

"She gets bit; I'm shooting you all in the head." He threatened before walking off towards Lori and Carl. Alice made eye contact with the dark haired woman. Lori shot her a weak smile, but it dropped quickly when Alice looked away, pretending not to see it.

Merle walked over and threw his large arm over Alice's bony shoulder. "Almost sounds like he cares, don't it sweet tits?" he asked, but laughed the whole time. It put Alice on edge. "If he wasn't fucking that one with the kid, I'd believe he cared about you. Lucky bastard, gets two nice pieces of ass."

"Merle stop it." she mumbled.

"You know what?" Ignoring Alice, he kept talking. "If you ever get lonely at night, which I know you do since he's always leaving you alone, come see good old Merle. I been known to fuck a bitch good." He leaned close to her face, his warm breath assaulting her cheeks. "He was your first I bet. I love me them inexperienced girls."

"Merle, shut up!" she snapped, shoving his arm off her. She gave him a look of disgust before stomping off towards Andrea and Glenn.

T-dog shook his head, frowning. "Why do you have to push her buttons man?"


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: As always, I simple must thank those who read and those who both read and rate! Love the feedback! You guys are awesome! **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead, but I do own Alice.**_

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Alice gripped the back of Glenn's shirt tightly; her knuckles were turning white. In her free hand, she held her gun, the safety off. They were creeping slowly past a walker a few feet away. The walker, from what she could see, had its whole lower jaw missing and was dragging a half severed leg. She held a scream in her throat when she saw how disgustingly sunken its face was and its skin peeling off. This had been a person once upon a time, now she had no idea if it was a male or female. It was just a thing now.

Glenn, using his head, motioned down a narrow ally. Andrea frowned, looking confused. He quickly looked at the walker then back to her, mouthing 'department store'. Lucky for the group, the back door was unlocked, but its hinges squeaked as it was carefully pushed open. Glenn gave everyone an apologetic look, but quickly rushed inside. T-dog closed the door behind him, being last to enter.

"What the plan?" he asked, His tight grip on his wooden baseball bat, just in case a walker was near.

"We gotta survey the department store." Andrea answered, looking around the back office they were standing in for anything they could use at camp. "The last thing we need is to be caught off guard."

"Who will go?"

Glenn held his hands up for everyone to see and backed away, leaning against the messy desk. "Not me, I got us here."

"I'll do it." Alice volunteered.

"No way." Morales, a Hispanic, chubby man said. "If anything happens to you, that husband of yours might… Well I don't know what he might do, but I'm not in a hurry to find out."

Merle let out a hyena like laugh as he slapped his knee. "I say we let sweet tits go. Makes no sense for us to get hurt, we got people waitin back at camp for us."

"Fuck you Merle!" Andrea hissed. "Alice, don't listen to the piece of country shit. I'll go with you." Alice just nodded, but kept her eyes on her feet. She didn't want Merle to see how much his words had really hurt her.

Not a sound was heard other than the two women's footsteps. It was hot in the department store and the air smelt faintly like perfume. Alice held her gun close, pointing it at everything she thought moved as she walked cautiously through the racks of clothes. She wanted to prove to everyone that she could pull her own weight without relying on everyone else. She wanted to show them that she had worth. Truthfully, she had never shot a gun other than at un-moving targets. She knew actually shooting a walker was very different, but the desperation to feel worthy and have a place in the group made her want to take the challenge.

She was tired of always being seen as Shane's helpless wife.

A smile made its way to her face when she caught site of her own reflection in a mirror. She had smudges of dirt on her cheek and her hair was down and wild. Her clothes were covered in filth that never really washed out. Even though she looked like she had been rolling in dirt and grass for days, she just had to smile because she looked… Scary. She looked brave. Jessica would be pleased if she saw her sister. Jessica. Alice shook her head, now wasn't the time to start thinking about the past.

Andrea and Alice met up in the center of the store. Andrea was smiling as she looked around, nodding her head in silent approval.

"Nothing's here. That's great." She reached out and touched a shirt. "At one point shopping without having to worry about paying was my dream."

After being told it was clear, the remainder of the group came from the back and quickly starting racing down the aisle. Time was precious and they needed to use it wisely. Alice shoved clothes that she felt she would need into her bag. She had the urge to change out of her old ones and slip on a fresh pair. She looked around quickly before grabbing a tank top and jeans off a rack and ducking into an aisle. When she popped back up, she kicked her old clothes out of site. The feeling of clean clothes against her skin was a pleasure she never knew she took for granted before the world ended. Even through her skin was dirty under the clothes, she oddly felt cleaner.

She walked past a jewelry display case and paused. Her fingers pressed against the glass as her eyes lingered on a silver bracelet with a charm of a cross dangling from it. Other than her wedding band, she had never really owned any jewelry. She felt terrible when she crawled over the display case, reached inside, took it, and shoved it in her jean pocket. It was simple, yet beautiful in her eyes. Alice bowed her head and silently prayed for forgiveness for stealing something she didn't actually need.

Andrea walked over to her, at first giving her an odd look. "What are you doing back there?"

"Huh?" she rubbed the back of her neck shyly. "I just um.. Well I uh.."

"It's cool, no one knows but us. It'll be our secret. Besides, I plan on doing the same."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"Amy's birthday. I came along on this trip mostly because I want to get her something nice. Don't tell her though."

"I won't." Alice promised, smiling.

"When did you change?"

Alice started to blush. "Not that long ago. I really felt dirty so I just kind of… Changed."

"Say no more. I don't blame you. I just might do the same." She said, looking down at her own clothes with a rolled up face. " So what did you get so far?" she asked, her own bag almost busting at the seams.

"Just the basics. Clothes, soap, shampoo."

"What about your husband? What'd you get him?"

"Huh? Oh um soap and clothes." Alice lied quickly before cautiously climbing back over the display cases and hurrying off to the men's section. She forgot all about him. While quickly shoving in a few men's items, Alice heard gunshots. At first she thought she had imagined it, but noticed everyone had stopped what they were doing and looking at each other.

"What the hell…" Andrea pulled out her gun and held it close to her body.

"Whoever did that just got us in loads of trouble." Jacqui spoke as she backed away from the glass doors. Walkers were starting to notice and surround them. Alice quickly finished shoving clothes into her bag and zipped it up.

"What do we do?" she asked, pulling her own gun out.

"Find the asshole and bring him here so we can kill him ourselves!" T-dog said as he started to pace back and forth, perspiration building on his forehead.

"Who goes?" there was a moment of silence before everyone looked to Glenn.

Glenn frowned. "Wait, what? Why me?"

"You did say you knew the every short cut and ally way like the back of your hand." Morales said.

Alice looked around for a moment, noticing it was too quiet. "Where's Merle?"

"Who knows. We'll worry about that later. In the meantime, Glenn, get going." Andrea gave him a little push as she handed him a walkie talkie.

"Me and my big mouth!" Glenn mumbled as he started drag his feet back to the office they had entered from.

"What do we do?" Jacqui questioned, eyeing the walkers at the door.

"Follow Glenn. We'll hide in the office for now and wait for him to come back." Andrea started jogging to the back, everyone tagging along behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: This is a Rick Grimes story, right? So where has Rick been? Hmmm? Thank you to those who review and take the time to read this! You guys are super awesome!_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or Rick Grimes... Though that would be nice_**.

* * *

"Well, this isn't how I pictured this trip." Jacqui leaned against a desk with her arms crossed over her chest.

Andrea let out a deep breath. "Join the club." She looked out a small window, and then let out a frustrated growl, tugging on her hair slightly. "We're gonna die here! We're surrounded!"

"Don't say that. Glenn knows-"

"Alice!" she snapped, making Alice shrink back in surprise. "Glenn knows what?! If he even makes it back, that'd be great but how do you suppose we all get out of here alive?!" Alice stood quiet. She had no reply for that. Morales placed a friendly hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, we'll get out, all of us." She stood quiet and just gave a weak nod, knowing Morales was doubting the truth in his own words.

They all sat silently in the room, no one knowing what to say. Minutes passed before Glenn's voice was heard on the walky talky. T-dogs head shot up as he held it to his ear.

"We got 4 walkers in the ally. I can't get in till they're gone." Morales and T-dog nodded at each other before putting on helmets that shielded their faces and picking up baseball bats. They ran outside and quickly beat in the heads of the walkers. Glenn and a tall man walked in, followed by T-dog and Morales. "That was so close!"

Without missing a beat, Andrea pointed her gun at the new man's face. Anger and defeat blazed in her eyes as she clenched her jaw.

"This is your fucking fault! You've killed us! Thanks to you we're all dead!" a sob escaped her lips.

Alice slowly looked at the man, her eyes wandering from his feet to his head. In disbelief, her mouth opened and closed a few times. With everyone's attention on the new comer, no one noticed.

"What are you talking about?" he asked with a slight country drawl.

"When you fired your gun, you drew the attention of geeks for miles! They've surrounded us and now we can't get out!" Andrea hissed. She looked away, trying to keep her tears from falling.

"Look, Andrea put down the gun. Either you shoot him or you put it down." Morales tried to move the gun, but she jerked it from him. Alice slowly walked over to the woman's side.

"I don't… Alice?" the man stared at her in disbelief.

Andrea's eyebrows shot up. "You know him?" she questioned as she lowered her gun slowly and looking back and forth between the two. It did make sense when Andrea thought about it. The man was wearing a deputy's uniform like Shane had worn when he first arrived to the camp.

Alice gulped down the lump in her throat before answering. "Yeah."

In a flash, he grabbed her in his long arms and held her close to his chest. "Oh God, it's really you!" Tears stung at his eyes, it felt amazing to find someone he knew before the outbreak, someone who could help explain what had happened to this world.

Alice hugged him back tightly, whispering 'thank God' repeatedly.

Rick.

He wasn't dead, he had survived. He kissed the top of her hair.

"You're alive! I can't believe it!" she started to sob. "Ri-"

"As heartwarming as this is, we still have a situation." T-dog cut in.

"I still don't understand. How did I cause this with a gun?" Rick asked, still hugging Alice close, almost reluctant to let the familiar face go.

"They're drawn to any sound, our smell, movement."

"Smell?"

"Yes smell!" Andrea ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated. "They smell you like you smell them!"

Rick's eyebrows knitted together, clearly confused. "I don't… Understand."

Alice wiped her wet eyes before speaking. "They smell like death and we don't. They can tell who is alive based on smell and who is dead like them." she explained as simply as she could. She knew she should have pulled away from Rick's arms, but it just felt so good to be held close by someone.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Jacqui asked, still leaning against the desk. She was oddly calm.

"I followed a helicopter."

"There ain't no helicopter's Rick. I think you just thought you saw one." Alice placed a hand on his forehead, checking to make sure he was alright. Maybe the heat had made him delusional.

He gently pushed her hand away. "No, I saw one. I know I did." Everyone shot him a doubtful look. Before any more questions could be asked, another set of gunshots were heard.

"What the fuck now?!" Glenn whined slightly.

"It's coming from the roof and my bet is its Merle." T-dog wiped the perspiration from his forehead. "We need to get him."

"That crazy son of a bitch!"

* * *

Merle stood on with one foot on the edge of the roof, firing his shotgun at the walkers below. He kept cheering himself on every time he hit one. Merle was amusing himself, he was his own form of entertainment. He knew he was supposed to be quiet and not draw attention, but there were so many walkers and he was just itching to try out his new gun. The group busted through the door, not scaring Merle, who just kept shooting.

"Hot damn! Got another one!"

"Merle! What the fuck man!" T-dog ran over, ready to pull his gun away. Merle stopped shooting, faced T-dog, and pointing the gun at him without missing a beat. T-dog stopped walking and held his hands up. He gulped down the lump in his throat.

"Well look here, it's the rainbow group. You know, you should never run up on a man with a gun." His eyes landed on Alice, a wolfish smile crept on his face as he eyed her chest. Her breast weren't big like he liked, but they were still a pair of breast. "Hey sweet tits, thought about my offer?" he grabbed his crotch in a lewd gesture. "I got something nice waiting for you. We can repopulate the world and make pretty blonde haired babies." Rick moved in front of her protectively, his face giving no emotion away. He didn't know who this man was, but he didn't like how he spoke to Alice. He felt her small hands take hold of his bicep, but she stayed behind him.

"Merle, we don't have a lot of ammo. You're wasting it!" Morales hissed, but kept his distance. He wasn't stupid enough to go near the crazy man.

"Wasting it?" Merle started to grin. "Nah, I'm helping out you see. I'm getting in some target practice so when we need it, I'll be ready." All of a sudden, he busted out laughing. "I don't need no taco loving Mexican telling me what to do." Morales jaw tightened, but he stayed quiet.

T-dog stepped closer to him. "Merle, we're surrounded. You're just making it worse! Stop shooting the gun and hand it over!"

"I ain't taking no orders from no nigger!"

His eyebrows shot up. "What'd you say to me?!"

"You heard me! Need me to spell it out, cause I can do that too." T-dog's fist clenched before he rushed towards Merle, his fist balled up. Merle laughed as he grabbed the fist and started to punch T-dog in the face. Rick jumped forward, and landed a punch on Merle, but was shoved away, hitting his back against one of the pipes. Alice rushed over and helped him up slowly.

"Merle! Merle stop!" Andrea begged as he aimed his rifle in T-dog's bloody face. Jacqui grabbed her upper arm to keep her from doing anything stupid.

"Merle put down the gun." Jacqui spoke, her voice calm as usual.

"I could kill you, I'm the one with the gun!" he laughed as he stood up. He kicked T-dog in the side, wearing a smirk on his face. Merle backed up to allow T-dog to crawl away. He let the rifle drop by his side. Andrea, Jacqui, and Morales ran over to T-dog. "The way I see it, I should be leader. Now who here agrees?" Slowly, Morales raised his hand. He did not want to be on the receiving end of one of Merle Dixon's beatings.

"Oh come on!" Andrea rolled her eyes as she let T-dog rest his head on her lap. Jacqui raised her hand, but held up her middle finger. Shaking her head, Andrea raised hers followed by T-dog.

"So it's settled, I'm the leader!" Rick pulled away from Alice and lunged for the rifle. Before Merle noticed anything, Rick punched him then hit him in the face with the butt of the rifle. Merle fell, letting out a string of curses as Rick held him down and handcuffed him to a pipe. "Who the fuck are you?!"

"You can just call me officer friendly."

"Fuck you! Let me go!"

"You shouldn't talk that way to a man with a gun. You need to calm down." He mocked, holding the gun to Merle's head.

"Fuck you twice you damn pig!"

"Listen here, there are no niggers or crackers anymore, its white meat and dark meat, those things versus us! If you get in the way of me finding my family because you can't act like you got sense… Well that's just a problem you don't want."

Alice was about to tell him about Lori and Carl, but decided not to. It wasn't because she wanted to keep them away from him. She wanted to see his smile and the look of relief on his face when they got back to camp. She looked over the roof and frowned. If they got back to camp. She didn't care about Lori any more, it was about Carl and the smile on his face he would have when he saw his father.

Rick reached into Merle's pocket and pulled out a vial of cocaine. He threw it over the roof.

Merle watched, his mouth hanging open. "What the fuck?!"

"You got some on your nose." Rick taunted before walking over to Alice, rubbing the hand he used to hit Merle earlier.

"Let me see." Her voice was just as he remembered, soft. He let her take his hand and study it. He noted that her delicate hand was so much more softer than his large calloused ones.

He genuinely smiled for the first time since waking up. "What's the diagnosis Nurse Walsh." She laughed a little as she let his hand go.

"Nothing serious, feels like a small fracture."

"Sounds serious." He said playfully.

"Hate to break you two up, but we really gotta figure something out officer friendly." Morales joked.

"Right, we need to get out of here."


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Yay! Rick is finally here! Thanks as always to the readers and reviewers!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Walking Dead**_

* * *

"Daryl's gonna be pissed." Alice mumbled from the back of the truck Rick was driving. She was using a ripped up shirt to bandage the ribs T-dog had broken when fighting with Merle. They had no real medical supplies; the shirt would have to do. T-dog had been silent the whole ride. It was obvious he felt guilty about what he had done on the roof before they left.

It had taken a while, but they managed to get out. Alice's stomach was still churning from the memory of Rick chopping up a walker and rubbing its guts all over lab jackets he and Glenn wore. The smell was one she was sure she wouldn't soon forget. She had smelt death before since she worked in a hospital, but never like that. Rick had broken into a nice, red car and gave it to Glenn to drive around as a distraction to the walkers because the alarm was obnoxiously loud.

Glenn had sped off, excited about driving the fast sports car. He didn't know how to turn off the screeching alarm since it was hot-wired but at the moment, he could care less.

The only person missing was Merle. He was still handcuffed to the roof. T-dog had accidentally dropped the key Rick had given him down a drain in a panic. He was supposed to unlock Merle when they were about to escape. T-dog knew he should have tried to help the man, but he didn't want to get left behind. He assured everyone that he had locked the roof door so no walkers could get in, but that did not sooth his conscience.

Merle wasn't a good person, anyone who knew the man would agree, but he was still human.

They pulled into the camp site, parking behind another truck. Rick turned the truck off, but remained seated as everyone jumped out excitedly. Alice moved into the passenger seat that Morales had previously occupied.

"Hey." She placed a delicate hand over his rough, calloused one. "I want you to meet everyone. I think you'll be surprised." Rick eyed her familiar smile. He knew she was hiding something.

He couldn't help but smile back. "Surprised how?"

"You won't know till you get out the car." She teased. Alice moved her hand back, but Rick quickly grabbed it, eyeing her wrist.

"What's that?" he asked, touching the bracelet with his free hand. She had put it on during the drive back. "You didn't have that on back at the department store and I don't remember you owning something like that."

She looked down at her lap. "Oh… Well it was real pretty… So I kind of, you know, borrowed it." Her voice was steady. It was never shaky when she spoke to Rick. She always felt like she could joke and be comfortable with him, but hes her closest friends, so of course she felt that way, right?

"Borrowed huh? When you gonna return it?" he asked playfully, still holding her hand.

"Oh Rick!" she rolled her eyes "Just get out the car and meet everyone."

"I don't know Alice. I feel a little weird, you know?" She squeezed his hand reassuringly before letting go.

"You're gonna be happy and surprised, trust me." Giving her a doubtful look, he got out.

She took a deep breath and followed him out. Even though she wanted Rick to see his family, she knew what went on while he was gone. It would kill him if he knew.

Alice also had guilt about leaving him at the hospital that day. It was part of her job to be able to tell if someone was dead or alive, but she had failed him. In her panic, she was not able to find his pulse and only God knows what hell he had gone through to find them.

Maybe things would have played out differently had she and Shane managed to get him out somehow.

"How'd you get out anyway?" Shane asked Glenn, looking around for his wife.

"The new guy. Come on and meet everyone helicopter man!" Rick stepped into everyone's view, Alice close behind. Shane's face was unreadable. Carl looked up and started to smile.

"Dad! It's dad!" he ran to his father, jumping into his arms and bring him down to the ground in a tight hug. He stood up and held his as close as he could.

"Thank goodness Carl, I found you!" His voice cracked as he held his son tight to him. Lori eyed Rick in disbelief as if she were seeing things. Slowly, with her mouth hanging open and eyes wide, she made her way over. She shot Shane an angry look when she passed him.

Alice held onto Dales arm, smiling at the site.

Rick grabbed his wife quickly and held her close, kissing her forehead. He let tears of joy roll down his cheeks as he once again held his son and wife. Lori started to cry as well, but the look on her face was far from ecstatic. Alice wasn't sure what Lori was crying about.

Were they tears of joy or guilt?

Lori hid her face against his chest. "You're alive Rick." She mumbled with a slightly guilty undertone.

Rick let out a laugh, not noticing. He was far too happy to notice anything off about his wife. "I knew I'd find you! I knew it!" he let them go and turned to Alice. "This was your surprise?" she gave a shy nod. "You got me! I wasn't expecting this." He turned to Shane. "Your wife is something else." The two men hugged, but it was awkward on Shane's end. Shane was happy, he really was, but now there was a big problem with Rick's arrival.

"Don't I know it."

"Thank you brother. I knew I could trust you to watch over my family."

"You know it. We barely made it out, but I got them Rick, I got them."

* * *

Rick held Carl and Lori close as everyone sat around the camp fire. He had never felt so much joy in his life. The world went to shit, but he still had his wife and son. Lori was still acting distant, but he would deal with that another day. She was probably still mad about the argument they had before he was shot. Rick retold his story of waking up alone in the hospital and finding walkers and dead bodies that had been shot. Lori gazed at the fire as he spoke. Shane clenched his jaw but listened. He suddenly shot up from Alice's side when he saw another fire by their group get brighter.

"What the fuck Ed! I told you to keep it low!"

"It's cold." Was all the man said, not looking up at Shane.

"It's cold huh? Deal with it like the rest of us! We all agreed to keep the fire low so we wouldn't attract the walkers and here you are just blazing it up!" Ed frowned and looked at his wife, a woman with grey, close to the scalp cut hair.

"Fine. Put it out woman." He ordered her. Alice watched with gloomy eyes as she watched the woman jump up and remove the extra log. She related to the woman, Carol, all too well.

Carols husband was the definition of an asshole, but she stayed, justifying everything he did. Everyone would whisper about it, wondering how she could stay with someone that treated her so bad, but not Alice. She knew how the woman felt, trapped with someone who treated her wrong, yet hopeful that it might just work.

The two women had a friendship built on that understanding alone.

Their daughter, Sophia, watched silently. Everyone pitied the girl. She had no say in anything, and had probably seen things no child should ever witness.

Shane put the fire out before kneeling in front of the woman and child.

"Thank you for cooperating. How's everything going Carol, Sophia?"

"Good. Look, I'm sorry about the fire-"

"It's alright Carol. Just remember next time." Just at that moment, thunder sounded.

"You going to bed?" Shane asked, standing awkwardly in front of Alice. She nodded, playing with her fingers. It was a nervous habit. Shane laughed a little as he grabbed her hand and holding them in his. "Look, um I know I been distant, but-"

"It's alright." She cut him off. "I understand. You thought Rick died and you were mourning. I get it." She lied. She would take him back without question, as she always did. It was sad to her though that Rick had noticed her new bracelet and Shane, her own husband had not. He reached out and brushed some of her hair from her face.

"I'm proud of you, you know. You did good out there today." She gingerly lifted his hand to her lips and placed a soft kiss on his knuckles.

"Thanks Shane." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the chain with the '22' pendent. "Here. I meant to give you this sooner." Shane's eyes lit up and he took it. It had been the number on his jersey back in his high school football days. It had meant so much to him and he thought he would never see it again.

"You got it when you packed our things?" she nodded. "I thought this was gone forever… I can't believe you saved this. Oh, baby you're the best." He pulled her into a hug. She hugged him back, but it was awkward. He let her go and put the chain on. She didn't miss the flash of guilt in his eyes as he fixed the pendent. "I would join you tonight; cuddle you just how you like, but I got watch tonight."

"Just be careful, it looks like it's gonna rain hard."

Shane lifted her chin up and placed a kiss of her lips. He pulled away slightly before grabbing her hips and pulling her closer to his body. She leaned up on the tips of her toes, initiating a second kiss. He tilted her head, making it deeper. He slowly broke the kiss. Resting his forehead on hers, he looked deep into her blue eyes. He loved her, he couldn't deny it. No matter what he did or way he strayed, he knew he loved his wife.

"You go rest that pretty little head of yours." She nodded and walked into the RV.

Once she had settled in her spot where she slept, her fingers danced across her lips. They didn't feel warm or tingle like they used to when he kissed her. They felt like… Nothing. She let out a sigh as she stared at the RV's roof.

She had felt numb when he kissed her. She was starting to realize how much she had been forcing herself to pretend she was happy and still in love with Shane. It confused her when she tried to figure out what she really felt for the man.

One thing she knew for sure now was she didn't feel love, not like she used to anyway. Her thoughts started to drift to Rick. The smile on his face when he saw his son brought a smile to hers. When he smiled, his eyes smiled. It was something Alice always liked about Rick. She liked a lot of things about Rick, but he was her friend, so of course she liked things about him.

Besides, even if she did see him as more than a friend, he loved Lori and she was with Shane.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed! It makes my day every time I read one =)**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead and yada yada**_

* * *

Daryl Dixon was beyond pissed. He was actually seeing red. To make matters worse, Shane had him in a headlock. When he first woke up, he thought he'd have a good day. He knew the deer he had been tracking was close. Boy, was he looking forward to some venison. Of course, that's not how his luck played out. A walker had gotten to his deer near the camp. To make matters worse, his brother was handcuffed on a roof in Atlanta with a bunch of walkers close by. T-dog tried to make him feel better by saying he had locked the roof door, but that didn't help. He knew Merle was unstable, he knew he was strung out on cocaine, but that was still his brother. He couldn't stand him sometimes either, but Merle was the only surviving family he had. Being handcuffed to a roof was no way to die.

"Let go of me pig! That's an illegal move!" Daryl hissed as he struggled against Shane.

"File a complaint."

"Look, I want to have a calm conversation about this. I know you're mad but you aint going about this the right way." Rick calmly spoke. Of course he was calm, it wasn't like he was in a headlock by Officer Asshole.

"You handcuffed my brother to a damn roof! How am I supposed to go about it asshole?!"

Rick let out a sigh before trying to reason with the man again. "Look, he's at the department store."

"Rick will show you where." Lori chimed in as she watched, holding her son close to her. She was frowning, knowing Rick was going to offer his services. It was like him to always try to do the right thing, even though he just barely made it to the camp alive the day before.

"Yeah…" Rick sounded unsure of Lori's tone. "I'll show you."

"Are you crazy?!" Shane released Daryl, shoving him roughly onto the ground. "You're gonna risk your life for Merle Dixon?! He wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst!"

"It's the right thing to do Shane. I handcuffed him there. I should go with Daryl."

"Oh, so you're gonna go with just this douche bag?"

"You best choose your words carefully!" Daryl warned, picking himself off the ground.

"I did. I said douche bag, I thought about what to call you." Shane shot back before turning his attention back to Rick. "You just got here. You got a death wish if you think you and him are gonna pull this off."

"It won't be just us." Rick looked to Glenn who groaned. "I know I'm asking too much of you, but please. We can't figure out an easier way there without you." Glenn pulled his cap over his eyes in annoyance but nodded.

"Oh so three men?!" Shane asked mockingly.

"Make it four." T-dog spoke as he walked over.

"Ya'll are putting us all in danger! We need you here! A walker made its way to the camp just this morning! Them things are running out of food in the city and are probably coming here! What if one got a hold of Carl? We need you here!"

Rick looked at his son before speaking. "Sounds like it's guns you need, not more man power."

"What you talking about Rick?"

"I emptied the armory at the deputy office before I left. 700 rounds Shane, just sitting in Atlanta."

"700?" Rick nodded. Lori rolled her eyes before speaking.

"You just got back Rick. I don't want you going."

"Me neither dad." Rick looked at his son, pain flashing across his face.

"I… I owe a debt. In that bag is a walky talky. I told a man and his son to use it to contact me when they got to Atlanta. I have to warn them about what waits for them. Without them I would have never found you and Carl, Lori."

Lori felt rage building in her chest as she looked at her husband. "You risked your life to find us! Now that you have, you're gonna just go back out there for Merle Dixon?!"

"I think he should go." Alice fingered a string at the edge of her tank top. She felt nervous voicing her opinions in front of everyone. Lori's eyes snapped to the blonde, disbelief written on her face.

"You can't be serious Alice! He just got back! You know what hell he went through to get here! You were there!"

Alice kept eyes glues to the string on her shirt as she spoke, afraid to meet anyone's eyes. "I mean it makes sense for him to go. Rick's gonna be fine, he's good at figuring stuff out in sticky situations. We could use more guns and save Merle." Rick looked at the woman, relieved that someone was on his side about going. "Besides, ya'll saw how close that walker came to the camp. What's to say one won't get closer the next time? We need the guns."

Shane rolled his eyes at his wife. "Not you too."

Alice looked at Shane, frowning. "I know Merle isn't the easiest to deal with, but he's still a person. No one deserves to die like that."

"Fine, fine. This is a mistake, but don't listen. Go ahead." Shane walked away from the group, clearly angry.

"I… I'd like to go too."

"Not happening Alice." Rick said as he walked over to Dale. She hurried behind him, ignoring the infuriated look Lori was giving her.

"I went to the department store yesterday and nothing happened to me. I want to help." She wanted to prove her worth to the group. She wanted to help.

"You can help by staying here."

"Rick!"

"No." he reached Dale and Jim, a man that was probably in his mid-forties. "I heard you're the man to go to for some clippers."

"I have a pair if that's what you mean. I hate lending out tools because I don't get them back, and yes I'm talking about you T-dog."

"We'll get your tools back. Think of it as an investment." Dale thought about it for a moment.

"I want one of those guns you bring back, my pick."

"No problem."

"Let's make the deal sweeter." Jim, a man a few years older than Alice, wiped his forehead, not moving from his seat on the RV's bumper. "We need a hose for this, so we can go if we need to and for a long time. Give us the one from the truck you drove here yesterday and you can use it."

"Fine. When we come back, you can do whatever you want to the thing."

"Deal."

"Rick."

"Alice I said no." he took the clippers from Dale and examined them. Daryl kicked the horn of the truck twice yelling for them to hurry up.

She frowned "But I can help! I know how to use the gun and-"

"No Alice. And you ain't never shot a gun at anything moving, this ain't the time for you to practice."

"It's not fair Rick! How come you guys can go, but I can't?" she tugged on his shirtsleeve like a little girl when she noticed he was trying to ignore her. "Rick! You best listen to me!"

Rick laughed a little at her weak attempt to sound threatening. "I said no Alice. It's dangerous out there, the last thing I need is to have you go out there and get bit or scratched."

"But I won't. I didn't yesterday." She reminded.

"Alice," Dale interrupted, placing his wrinkly hand on her bare shoulder. "why don't you stay with me and Jim. Help us with the RV." She frowned, but nodded. For some reason she couldn't say no to Dale. Rick gave her arm a little squeeze.

"Don't be mad. I just want to know you're here and safe. I can't focus if I'm always wondering if you're alright. I'd hate myself if anything happened to you under my care. What would Shane say?"

"Who cares." She mumbled, surprising herself.

"What?"

"I said you're right." She lied as she pulled away from his hand and walked into the RV in a huff.

"She'll be fine. She's just tired of being stuck at camp every day." Dale explained. "She gets bored always hanging around Glenn and me." Dale smiled slightly as he watched Glenn walk past his stripped sports car and mumbling about how no one respects fine cars.

Rick's eyebrows furrowed together in curiosity. "What about Shane? Doesn't she hang around him too?"

T-dog frowned. "Oh, he's always busy. He hardly spends time with her other than when we're around the fire." He shrugged before walking to the Truck. "We better go, Dixon's getting pissed."

Rick silently followed, wondering about his friends. He hadn't gotten a chance to really talk to Alice alone since he had been back. He had been so happy to see his family; he never once asked her how things had been going. Rick knew things were strained between Shane and Alice, but he had figured that the world going to shit would have made them closer. Guess he was wrong.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Awesome people you are!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead, but I'm sure that's clear by now.**_

* * *

"Hey Alice." Lori strolled over, her hands tucked in her pants pockets. Alice stopped taking her clean clothes off the clothesline to look at Lori.

She shifted her feet uncomfortable. "Oh, hey."

"I haven't seen you around much."

Alice kept her eyes on the RV behind Lori. "I've been busy I guess."

"How about we go on a walk, you know catch up like we used to." It was obvious Lori wanted to try to explain what had happened when everyone thought Rick was dead. She had a feeling Alice knew about her and Shane.

"I'm sorry Lori, I can't. I'm washing some clothes with the girls. You know how Shane hates to wear dirty shirts."

"Alice… You're not happy with him. You said so yourself. I just-"

"I don't want to talk about this. Just cause Rick's back, don't make everything alright again."

She quickly hurried away from Lori, afraid she might say more than she meant to. It frustrated her that Lori would try to justify sleeping with Shane and carrying on like two teenagers. She had been her closest friend, the one she talked to about her marital problems. She spent a week mourning over Rick, then found comfort in Shane's pants. Now Rick was back and everything was supposed to go back to the way it was. It wasn't fair to Alice how Lori got to have her family and Shane. What did Alice have in this new world to call her own?

Before Rick was thought to be dead, Shane never even looked in Lori's direction. Once Rick had 'died' Shane wanted to be the replacement. He tried harder to win Carl over, he made sure not to anger Lori and keep her happy, but what about Alice? Now that Rick was back and the affair had to end, she was left right back where she started, alone and pretending to love someone who didn't deserve her.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got with herself. She was so weak. Every time one of his affairs didn't go the way he planned, he always turned back to Alice, whispering how much he loved her and how he was going through something. She wasn't sure if he knew she was on to him and Lori, but he never showed it.

Alice felt her chest tightened as she reached the reservoir. There Shane was in the water playing with Carl. If one didn't know any better, it would seem like that was the boy's father. She wanted a child so badly for so long, but Shane had always refused her, saying it wasn't the right time.

A part of her was grateful they never had one. She would love it no matter what, but in times like these, she had no idea how she would be able to keep it safe.

Shane would have been a good father; she would have been a good mother. Now she'd never know what it felt like to carry life, she'd never know what it felt like to have her proud husband lay his head against her stomach just to feel movement. Alice held her bundle of clothes tighter to her chest.

Lori was always so lucky. She had a loving husband that risked his life to find her; she had a smart, wonderful son. Their problems were small, but Lori didn't see it that way. Alice would trade anything to have a life like hers.

Just by the look on Shane's face when Rick returned and embraced Lori proved that he loved her like he never loved Alice. What she would give to receive a look like that from a man.

Alice wasn't sure what had made Shane turn back to his old ways of being a ladies man. When they first started dating, Shane seemed to change. He was only interested in Alice, he spent all his free time with her. Sure, he suggested more than once that she let go of her dream to become a dancer and do something more practical, but he meant well.

And it was alright with her that he didn't notice how much of a passion dancing was to her or that she felt like a piece of her was missing when she stopped.

She loved him and would do anything for him. Maybe that was her biggest mistake. She never told him 'no' for fear of losing him. Now she saw the errors of her ways, but was it too late to change things? The world was overrun by the living dead and surviving was all that mattered to most. Would it matter if she became stronger in her dealings with Shane?

"What took you so long?" Amy asked as she scrubbed out her shirt.

"I was trying to decide how many of Shane's shirts I should wash." Andrea and Jacqui rolled their eyes as they scrubbed their own clothes. Carol just washed hers silently. Who was she to judge Alice? Her situation was no better.

"I don't know why you put up with that man. He doesn't even notice you half the time."

Alice frowned. "That's not true."

"Oh, but it is." Andrea corrected. "You wash his shit, bring his ass food every night, and what does he do for you? He sneaks around-"

"Andrea stop." Amy warned.

"You know what I miss? I miss my Maytag washer." Carol spoke suddenly, ending the tension in the group.

"I miss my cell phone!" Amy whined, relieved that the topic had changed. She felt bad for Alice and knew she hated talking about her situation. Who could blame her?

"Cell phone? I miss my coffee maker with the gold drip filter and grinder." Jacqui let out a sigh as she reminisced about all the good coffee she used to drink because of that machine.

"I miss my makeup." Alice admitted as she washed one of her many tank tops. She felt like her lack of sleep was showing more on her face and she had no makeup to cover it.

"I miss my vibrator." Amy scrunched up her nose at her sister before she started to laugh. Alice blushed. Carol glanced behind her quickly, making sure Ed wasn't listening.

"Me too." All the girls busted out laughing, surprised by Carol. Even Alice let out a little laugh.

"Who would have thought!"

"Hey! This ain't no comedy club!" Ed yelled as he marched over. Carol flinched at the sound of his voice. He walked over and just stood there. Andrea stood up and faced him.

"If you don't like the way your clothes are being washed, you can do it yourself!"

"Oh, you go to college and think you can talk any old way to people huh?!"

"What is it you do around here anyway Ed? Sit around, smoking? If you don't like it so much, wash your own shit." She tossed a wet shirt at him. Ed grabbed it and threw it in her face, making her gasp in surprise.

"Come on Carol." Carol quickly gathered her things before Jacqui pulled her back.

"No, you don't have to go."

"She does have to go cause I said so! Now come on."

"Why? So you can add another bruise on her?! We've all seen them Ed!" Jacqui yelled, catching Shane's attention.

"I said come on!" Ed grabbed Carol, but Andrea and Jacqui tried to pull her back. Without warning, Ed swiftly back handed his wife. Carol let out a loud cry, holding the side of her face. Alice jumped up and wrapped Carol in a hug.

"You pig!" Alice yelled, shocking herself. That wasn't like her at all.

"What'd you say?! You bitch!" Ed went to strike Alice, but was grabbed by Shane before he could come close to her. He tossed the man to the ground and began punching him over and over.

"Shane stop!" Andrea begged, tears coming to her eyes.

"If I find out," he punched Ed again. "you put your hands on your wife or daughter again," Ed got punched again, his face covered in blood. "I won't stop next time." Shane slapped his face mockingly before standing up. "And if you ever try and strike my wife again, I'll kill you, you hear me Ed?" he kicked him in the ribs. "I'll fucking kill you!" he warned one last time before walking off. Carol broke away from Alice and ran to Ed. She kneeled beside him and cried, apologizing repeatedly to him. Alice watched Shane walk off in shock; she had never seen him that angry before.

Shane shook his hand out. It had hurt more than he thought knocking sense into Ed. He knew he over did it, but he was angry.

He was angry with how things went with Lori. He never expected to fall in love with his best friend's wife, but he did. It was wrong what he felt, especially now that Rick was back, but he knew Lori didn't love Rick.

No one gets over someone they love in a week when they supposedly die. He knew Lori loved him; he just had to show her that she did. Maybe if Rick were really dead, they could have really been together. Rick was his best friend, he never wronged him, but he loved Lori.

He was going crazy, he felt it.

It didn't help that Alice was there. She was his wife, the woman who put up with him no matter what stupid thing he did. He loved her too, he knew he did. It was the main reason why he never left her.

It was why he married her.

It was wrong to cheat on her, but he needed to prove to himself that he still had it. That appeal that women loved about him.

It wasn't fair to her, but Shane knew he'd go mad if he knew she was with someone else. He was use to Alice always being there. He wasn't sure what he would do if she had ever left him. She deserved better, someone who could love her and only her, but he wanted her to always be there for him. When something with another woman didn't work or got to serious for him, he needed to know Alice would always be there to take him back as if nothing happened. He just couldn't do the right thing and set her free. He knew it was selfish, but he was a selfish man that wanted it all.

He loved Lori, but he also loved Alice in his own way.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Don't own the Walking Dead.

Alice sat in front of the RV peeling potatoes for dinner, sweat dripping down her face. It was hotter than usual today. Everyone went on about his or her day, pretending that Shane had not nearly beaten the life out of Ed earlier.

Alice placed the potato and knife down to wipe the sweat off her forehead. It was days like these she missed her air conditioner and a nice cool shower. Every part of her felt sticky from her sweat. Her hair was oily and plastered to her forehead, saying she felt disgusting was putting it lightly. What she wouldn't give for a decent shower and a glass of sweet tea.

Dale stood above her on the roof of the RV, keeping watch. He put down his binoculars and looked down at the blonde-haired woman, smiling affectionately. He and Erma had wanted children, but after her first miscarriage, she never wanted to try again. He couldn't blame her, but he had to admit, it would have been nice to be a father.

"Will you be cooking again tonight?" he asked.

She looked up at him, squinting her eyes slightly from the sun rays. "Yeah. Why? Does my cooking suck?" she joked.

"No, you're really good. That's why I asked. Where did you learn?"

"My ma taught me." A proud smile crept onto her lips as she resumed peeling potatoes. "She always said a good wife has to believe in God, cook good enough to keep her man home, and bare them children. It was like her motto when me and my sister were growing up."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"Yeah. Smart thing, she was. Always was book smart." Alice started to frown, her eyes getting misty. "I always knew she'd be something great, you know? Maybe the first woman president, cause she was a natural leader. I always wished I was like her, even though she was younger than me. I could never be that smart or strong." It felt strange to talk about Jessica in past tense. No one knew she had seen her sisters body covered in blood on the kitchen floor or that she watched her father kill himself. It was too painful to bring up. She hadn't even mentioned it to Shane, not that he asked about Jessica or anyone else in her family.

"There's a chance she's still alive Alice."

She shook her head. "She's gone Dale. I saw it with my own eyes." Dale wanted to ask her to elaborate, but figured she'd tell him when she was ready. Her eyes drifted over to Shane, who was watching Lori and Carl. "Jessica, that was her name. Jessica always hated Shane. She said I was too good for him." Dale stood silent, but listened closely. She hardly talked about anything personal. "Maybe she was right. She didn't like him even when I went to high school with him."

Dale's eyebrows shot up. "You were high school sweethearts?" he questioned.

She let out a small laugh "Oh, goodness no. I wasn't even allowed to date back then. Shane never really noticed me; he just knew that I was a friend of Ricks. I didn't dress like all the other girls, at least not the ones he went for. I always wore long skirts and long sleeve shirts. My ma said it was sinful to show too much skin, it would give the wrong impression that I was a jezebel. I was the dorky looking church girl that wasn't too smart or pretty. The only real friend I had was Rick." She looked down at her bare arms and smiled. "My ma would have a heart attack if she saw me wearing a tank top like this."

Amy and Andrea walked into the camp excitedly, holding up fishes on lines. Everyone grew equally excited and thanked the two girls for catching so much.

"Where did you learn to fish like that?" Morales asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Our dad." They both answered at the same time. They looked at each other for a moment before busting out laughing. Alice smiled at the sisters, missing her own even more.

"Well because of you two, my family will be eating well tonight. Thanks ladies."

Alice stood up from her chair and glanced up at Dale.

"Looks like I got more work to do. I better help clean those fish."

Alice had just begun to gut the fish with Jacqui when she felt someone standing over her. Looking back, she saw that it was Shane. She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Mind if I steal my lovely wife for a moment?"

Jacqui frowned, but shrugged her shoulders. "Shouldn't you ask her if she minds being around you?"

"What's that supposed to-"

"Come on Shane." Alice put down her knife and fish.

She wiped her hands on an old rag as they walked a little away from the camp. Shane watched her, but didn't speak before they stopped walking.

"You been acting weird all day."

She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"You ain't talk to me much."

"I'm just worried about Rick and the others."

"Ain't you say he should go in the first place?" he snapped.

"Don't mean I can't worry about him." She mumbled, looking down at a rock by her foot.

Shane let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair. "Look, I ain't mean to snap at you like that." He reached out and pulled her to him. She used to get so happy when he held her. "Come here. Been a while since I just held you." Now she wanted to run away from him.

"We both been busy." She felt him run a hand through her oily hair.

"You know I love you, don't you?" He kissed the top of her head.

She hesitated. "Yeah… Yeah I know.

"And you love me, right?"

"Yeah." She wasn't so sure. He grabbed her chin and brought her into a kiss. His lips were a little chapped and that was all she could focus on until he broke the kiss. Alice hadn't really kissed him back, but he figured it was because she had a lot on her mind. That had to be it.

"We're gonna make it through this, you and me."

"I think we have a problem!" Dale yelled as he climbed down the RV. Shane took Alice's hand and led her over to the older man. She understood how trapped animals felt when they would try to gnaw off a limb to get free. The thought was tempting.

"What's the problem? Shane asked, still holding his wife's hand.

"Jim." Dale pointed to away from the camp. There Jim was, shoveling like mad. "I have no idea what's going on with him."

Everyone hiked up the large hill where Jim was, all curious as to why he was shoveling nonstop in the heat. Two holes were already dug; he was working on the third. He barely noticed the others.

"Jim." Dale called cautiously, keeping his distance. Jim kept digging. "Jim, you ok buddy?"

"Yeah." He answered quickly, still not looking up.

"It's pretty hot today to be working this hard, over 100 degrees."

Jim frowned, but did not stop digging. "I'm fine."

Shane stepped forward "Hey Jim, give me the shovel."

"Or else what?"

"There is no or else. I'm asking you to hand me the shovel."

"Just like you asked Ed to stop bothering the women. I saw his face."

Alice stepped closer to the man. "Jim, that was different." She wrung her hands nervously. "Ed wasn't just bothering us."

Jim kept digging. "Yeah, defend your husband."

Shane's lips tightened for a moment, but his voice remained calm. "Look, just give me the shovel. I don't want to have to take it from you. Just gimme it. We can all go back to the camp, get you some water. After you rest, I'll even come back with you and help you dig. How does that sound?"

"I don't need help!" Jim snapped.

"I'm just gonna come out and say it since no one else will. You're scaring Carl and Sophia. What's going on?" Lori boldly asked, holding Carl close to her.

"I'm not doing anything wrong! I'm just digging! What's wrong with that?!" Jim hissed. "Am I hurting anyone by digging?!"

"Come on," Shane grabbed the shovel. "Give me-"

"Let it go!" Jim jerked the shovel away and tried to hit Shane with it. Shane dodged it and quickly tackled him to the ground, using his body weight to keep him down. "Get off of me!" Jim struggled under the larger man, but all he was doing was wearing himself out.

Alice's lip trembled as if she were about to cry. "Please Jim, stop fighting Shane. Everything's gonna be alright."

Jim let out a sound between a laugh and sob as he stopped struggling. "That's what I told my family when this whole thing started. Everything's gonna be alright. Look how that ended. The only reason I got away was because the walkers got to them before me. Oh God my family. I had to watch those things attack them, eat them…" His voice grew into a whisper. "Don't tell me everything's gonna be alright." Everyone stood in silence, not sure what to say.

Shane hauled the man up and dragged him back to the camp. Jim did not fight back. Carl and Sophia clung to their mothers as they watched. Alice didn't speak, but walked back to the camp with her head hanging low. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Jim had witnessed, she didn't want to.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: This chapter has some action... Finally! It's a little longer than the others so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead

It had been decided by Shane that Jim needed to be tied to a tree because he was a danger to himself and everyone else at the camp due to his outburst.

Jim sat against the tree watching the kids writing in school books that the others had managed to find. The mothers, to keep some sense of normalcy, were tutoring them. He didn't say a word, he just watched. He missed his boys. He missed his wife. He hated himself for being the one that got to live. His kids deserved to live more than he did.

Maybe it was a good thing, no child should have to see this new world and try to survive it. It was hard enough on him having to witness what he had and he was an adult. He had to do things he never imagined, things that almost made him feel as if he had lost his humanity.

He had a dream the night before, but what had it been about? For the life of himself, he could not remember, but he knew it was what had made him begin to dig. But why three holes?

Jim looked to his right when he heard a few leaves crunching under someone's foot. Alice squatted next to him and for a moment, they enjoyed the silence between them. He liked the girl, but he couldn't help but feel that she had a certain weakness about her. In this new world, one can only rely on themselves, she hadn't seemed to learn that yet.

"Hey." She muttered, drawing in the dirt with her finger. "I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"For bring up those memories."

Jim let his head rest against the tree trunk. "It's alright. It's not like you knew."

"I can't imagine-"

"Then don't." he replied rudely. Instantly, he felt guilty when he saw her bite her lower lip and look away. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You're a good kid, you know that?"

"Kid?" she repeated, raising an eyebrow. He chuckled a little.

"Well you're younger than me."

"Don't make me a kid though." She replied as she watched Lori and Carl. Jim's eyes followed hers.

"Lori." He called. The woman looked at him. "Keep an eye on your son. Keep him close." Lori's face contorted into confusion, but she nodded anyway, returning to Carl's schoolbook. Jim let out an auditable sigh before speaking again. "Do you know what love is?"

Alice frowned, looking at the older man, caught off guard by his question. "Sure I do." She replied, not really thinking about it.

"What is it?" he questioned, still looking at Lori and Carl. Alice stayed silent. She knew what love was in the sense of how it was defined in the dictionary, but really, she had no other way to define it. "You kids now a days. Don't know what love is, but are so quick to run down the aisle."

Alice smiled. "You ain't that much older than me Jim."

"That may be so, but I do have more wisdom, that's for sure."

"Alright, so tell me what's love."

"Love is…" his mind wondered to his beloved wife. "Love is unconditional. It's when you never have to go through good and bad times alone. It's an unspoken understanding and bond. When you have a shitty day, just knowing you have someone waiting at home to make it better is enough." He felt his eyes get misty. "Love is sharing every fear and knowing it's alright to be vulnerable. You'll never fall and hit the ground because someone will catch you."

They both sat in silence for a moment, Jim's word sinking into Alice's head. If that was love, she couldn't relate, but it sounded wonderful.

She knew what love was for her family, but for a significant other? She had never felt what Jim had described.

Jim looked up to the sky and wondered if his family was up there. Were they watching him?

Shane walked over, carrying some water and kneeled in front of Jim. He offered a smile to the man.

"You thirsty?" Jim silently nodded. "Here," he held the cup to Jim's lips, allowing him to drink. "Wanna tell me what that was all about earlier?" He moved his lips from the cup.

"Had a dream last night. Don't remember what of." Jim answered truthfully.

"Well, I think you've calmed down now. How about I untie you?"

"That would be great." Shane reached for his pocketknife and cut Jim loose, earning a grateful nod as he stood up and stretched.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Shane asked, looking down at Alice. She stood up, giving him an apologetic smile.

"I'd love to," she lied "but I have to help the girls with dinner." Her husband frowned, but nodded before walking away quickly. His pride was hurt. Alice watched him walk off, but just shrugged her shoulders and walked over to Andrea, Amy, and Carol. Jim had watched silently. He knew what was happening, and a part of him was surprised. He had expected Alice to agree and leave with him like she normally would, but this time was different.

Alice was getting a backbone.

They all sat together in a circle, smiling and laughing together. It almost felt as if the world hadn't ended. It was rare that the group had moments as carefree but when they did, all cherished it. The only ones missing were Ed and Shane. Alice placed her empty bowl down and gave a knowing smile to Andrea who smiled back. She had Amy's gift tucked away in her pocket.

It meant the world to Andrea to make her little sisters birthday special more than ever. She had stolen a mermaid necklace for Amy when they had gone to the department store. If there was one thing she knew about her kid sister, it was her love of mermaids. She just never outgrew it.

Alice felt giddy knowing the surprise Amy was going to get from her sister. She had helped in trying to find something nice to wrap it in, and though they had been unsuccessful in finding wrapping paper, Alice had managed to make a pretty wrapping from some pink tissue paper.

Much to everyone's surprise, Carol came over bring Sophia with her. She sat down next to Alice, holding her daughter close. Everyone noticed Ed was absent, but no one really cared. It wasn't like he was a joy to be around. Carol had tried to convince her husband to come join the others, but he refused. Normally she'd stay with him, but she finally saw what it was doing to Sophia.

For the first time Carol understood just what the young girl was going through. She hardly ever got to be a child before the world ended, Ed had taken that from her and the guilt still ate at Carol. Every day the little girl lost more and more time to be carefree and innocent. It just wasn't fair to Sophia. Carol made a promise to herself that she wouldn't let Ed dictate her and Sophia's lives anymore.

That little girl just didn't deserve the hand she had been dealt. Ed stole so much from Sophia, more than anyone around them would ever know. She looked down at her daughter, who was holding the one doll she had managed to save when they left home. She looked so innocent. Carol couldn't let anything else happen to her.

"I wonder if Rick's alright." Lori mused aloud, looking down at her bowl. She had almost felt guilty having so much fun while her husband was risking his life for a second time. Then again, he had made the decision himself to go.

"It's alright mom, dad's ok. I know he is. Aunt Alice is right; dad's good at figuring stuff out." Lori looked down at her son. Rick was so selfish, how could he not think of his son before leaving. It was one thing to turn away from her, but it was a whole different story to leave his son.

She kissed the top of her sons head, glancing at Alice. "You're right." Alice looked away. Lori longed to talk to her friend, to set things right, but Alice made it so hard. She couldn't exactly blame her, but it wasn't like she knew her husband was alive when she had done what she did. Besides, it wasn't like Alice loved Shane anyway.

"Where are you going young lady?" Andrea asked her sister as she stood up from the group.

Amy rolled her eyes. "I was trying to go take a piss, but I can't even do that discreetly." Everyone laughed as she playfully smiled at her sister before walking to the RV. A few moments later, Amy's voice was heard again. "We're out of toilet paper. What am I supposed to do-" a piercing scream interrupted her sentence.

"Amy?!" Andrea shot up and ran towards the RV. What she saw changed everything forever.

"We got a problem!" Dale yelled as he spotted walkers coming from the woods. Alice shot up, knocking her chair from under her. "This isn't good."

Alice reached for her gun, but felt nothing. She wanted to face palm herself when she realized she left it in the RV.

The walkers were coming closer and Alice had no idea what to do.

It was as if everything was happening in slow motion. She could hear Andrea's cries of anguish and pain; she could hear Lori yelling for Carl to stay close to her. She could see Shane running over to the group. She was jolted back to reality when saw just how close the walkers were to them now. She knew what she had to do. It was kill or be killed.

Alice spotted a piece of wood that had been meant to feed the fire they had going. She grabbed it, grateful that the log had been sliced in half and easy for her to lift up. Her mouth hung open; a large number of walkers were coming from the woods. She could hear her heart beating wildly in her ears.

A walker staggered just a few feet from her, and she froze. Did she really have it in herself to kill it? She knew it was stupid to even stop and think about what to do at that very moment. Everyone was fighting around her to live and her she was wondering if she even had it in herself to fight to live.

The walker lunged at her, knocking the blunt object from her hand and toppling her to the ground. Her forearm pressed against the geeks neck, barely keeping its open mouth from biting her. Her eyes stared into the walkers. They were dead eyes, nothing like she had ever seen before.

If she survived this, what would it even matter? Was it even worth fighting? Everyone at the camp had something to live for. What did she have?

The walker's mouth was getting dangerously close to her face. Just one bite, one scratch and she would be like that creature, but what had made them so different? They were both lifeless, just surviving but not really living. Numb.

Something suddenly flared up in Alice when she saw her sister's face and then she knew. She had always envied her sister for being brave, outgoing, never holding her tongue. Jessica would be ashamed if she saw how her sister was getting along. She had always told Alice she could do better in life.

Here she was, feeling bad for herself, wondering if she should just die. The thing above her would never again get a chance to pity itself or turn its life around.

She had a choice still, which was what Jessica had been trying to tell her for so many years.

Alice had to live so she could change. She had to live for her sister, the girl who deserved life more than Alice had. She wanted to make Jessica proud of her.

Alice had something to live for, she had to live for Jessica.

This was life or death, and without another thought, Alice chose life. It had been decided at that moment that she would always choose life, and stop thinking about the easy way out.

A sudden surge of strength went through Alice's body as she brought her knee up to the walker's stomach and used it to help shove it off her. She rolled over quickly and grabbed the log. She was in survival mode. She wasn't going to die, not like this. For the first time in a while, she felt alive.

This was her rebirth. Alice was no longer going to be afraid.

She brought the log down against the walkers head, crushing its skull. She heard the sickening crack as she smashed it repeatedly until it no longer moved. She heard a gunshot behind her. The exposed skin of the back of her shoulders felt wet. Alice wondered if she had been shot. She swung around. Daryl Dixon had a rifle aimed at her, resting on his shoulder. She looked in front of her and saw a walker that was close to making a meal out of her on the ground, motionless.

He saved her. Daryl Dixon had saved Alice.

More gunshots rang out, bringing Alice back to reality. She spotted Rick, running to protect his wife and son.

"You ought to stop day dreaming Walsh." Daryl hissed before running away to shoot more walkers. She nodded, even though he had already left. She ran over to Rick, dodging a few walkers.

"Gimme a gun!" she yelled over the gunfire. Rick looked surprised, but threw the bag of guns down from his shoulder.

"Take your pick." She randomly grabbed one and began to fire. She had always thought Shane's lessons would never go to use, but now, she couldn't have been happier he forced her to learn how to use a gun. Lori watched Alice. Something was different about the girl, she just wasn't sure what.


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed =) Seeing the feedback makes me so happy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead.**_

* * *

A few hours had passed since the chaos had died down and now everyone stood together silently. No one knew what to say. Andrea had been sobbing over her sister's body all night. She hugged Amy's lifeless body close to her, not caring that she was getting blood all over her. Alice's heart ached for the woman, she knew what it was like to lose a sister.

Rick walked over and squatted down next to Andrea. He wanted to say he understood how she felt, but he knew it would just irritate her. He had no idea how it felt. He felt like an asshole when his first thought after things calmed down was at least it wasn't his wife and son. Rick placed a comforting hand on Andrea's shoulder.

"You know what's gonna happen to her. I have to-"

She shoved his hand away. "You're not doing anything!"

"I'm just trying to make things a little easier for-" Andrea lifted her gun and aimed it at Rick's face.

"I know how to take the safety off." He held his hands up and stood up. "I know what has to be done. I'll do it." Rick nodded and walked away, letting Andrea go back to cradling her sister.

"She just needs time. This is really hard for her."

Rick nodded before speaking. "I know, but I was just trying to help Alice."

"She knows. I suppose she's on edge still. It's her sister, it's only right that she does it."

"If it were Lori or Carl, I don't think I could…" he drifted off. Alice placed a comforting hand on his tense shoulder.

"Hey, let's not think about that now, ok? Come on, we should help."

"With what?"

"Don't know, but I'm sure we can find something to do."

Not far off, Carol was crying, hugging herself. Ed had been bitten and killed. No one really was going to mourn for the man, but it didn't seem right for anyone to voice how he wouldn't be too missed. Daryl walked over to Ed's mutilated body, holding a pickaxe. He had been going around, smashing in the dead's head, guaranteeing they wouldn't be coming back.

Carol looked down at her husbands body. There was a gaping hole in his neck, caked with his blood. Ed had died with a horrified expression on his face, his dead eyes wide and staring at her. Her whole body started to tremble. He was dead and she didn't feel like a part of her had died. No, she felt relieved and a sense of freedom. The way he died was a way no one should. She almost resented herself when she thought that in a way he did deserve this type of death. He had always been so cruel to her with his endless beatings and berating her any chance he got. She hated him. Every part of her hated him and she knew she wouldn't mourn him for long. He never did anything that made him worth missing, he was never a good man, husband, or father.

Daryl glanced at Carol before he raised the ax up, ready to smash Ed's head. Carol reached a shaky hand up to stop him. He looked at her with both curiosity and frustration as he lowered it.

"What?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

"I want to do it." She held back a sob. "He was my husband." Daryl looked unsure but handed her the ax. He started to back away slowly as she swung at his head more times than necessary, crying hysterically with each blow.

Every hit was for all the times he had raised his hand to her, for all the hurt he cause their family, but most of all it was for Sophia. She could handle what Ed did to her, but Sophia didn't deserve what he put her through.

They were both free from him and even though the world was overrun by walkers, it was the most liberated and safe Carol ever felt.

* * *

Alice looked around, frowning. There was so much carnage "What do we do about all the… Bodies?"

"We should burn the walkers and bury our own." Glenn answered flatly.

"We should burn them all." Shane suggested.

Lori shot Shane a nasty look. "No, I agree with Glenn. They don't deserve that."

Shane looked at Lori, hurt by her harsh tone towards him. He tried to explain himself to her over and over, but she would hear none of it. He wanted her to love him, not give him dirty looks all the time and be short with him. Lori stared him down, almost daring him to challenge her words. Shane frowned, but stayed quiet.

"I'll go start digging holes for the ones we know." Alice softly volunteered, noticing the exchange between Shane and Lori.

Shane looked so hurt, almost as if he wanted to get on his hands and knees to beg Lori to talk to him. She had noticed Lori acting coldly to Shane and knew for a fact that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. But unlike all the other affairs Shane had, this one wasn't easy to forget about for him. He had fallen hard for Lori and Alice could see it. He had never loved her that way or that strongly.

Alice was jealous. She was hurt, but mostly envious of the love Shane wanted to give Lori. Though she had made the decision to be stronger, it didn't ease the pain she felt in her heart. She would still let go of Shane, but it wouldn't be easy to watch him chase Lori then try to cuddle up to her.

Feeling the tension, the group disassembled, getting ready to deal with the task at hand.

Dale hesitantly walked over to Andrea and Amy's body, Alice in tow. She had taken a break from digging and decided to accompany Dale to check up on Andrea.

Dale gently placed a hand on Andrea's bare shoulder, crouching down next to her. He wasn't sure what to say, so he decided to just let his heart speak.

"Did I ever tell you how my Erma died?" He asked.

"Cancer." Andrea answered, still not looking up from her sister's body.

"That's right. After all the doctor appointments and chemo, Erma was ready to go. I wasn't. I was so angry for years after she had passed away. I got that RV so I could take her around the country before she died from her cancer, but before I could even finalize the plans, she… passed away. I felt alone for a while." Dale paused, taking a deep breath before continuing to speak. "Then I met three wonderful girls. I had something to look after. You, Amy, and Alice mean a lot to me. I haven't cared about anyone in a long time Andrea, not since Erma died."

Alice felt her heart swell at Dales words. He had cared for her as much as she had cared for him. He would never know how deeply his words had touched her. Her father had never been the kind she always wanted. He was cold, only ever really speaking to his daughters to see if they had been studying the bible. Dale was nothing like that. He talked to her and was actually interested in who she was as a person.

Alice sat on her knees next to her Andrea. She soothingly rubbed her back.

"I wish… I just wish I hadn't missed so many birthdays." Andrea spoke, her voice cracking with regret. Alice rested her head on top of the older woman's. "Her birthday was like a week-long celebration. I wanted to go celebrate with her, but… I was in college or I just couldn't be bothered with kiddy parties. I never thought… I never thought I might not have another chance to celebrate her birthday with her."

Andrea reached into her pocket and pulled out pink tissue paper. Instantly, Alice knew what it was. Andrea unwrapped it and gently held the necklace meant for her sister.

"Today's her birthday, isn't it?" Andrea gave a nod as if it would be too painful to speak. She slide the necklace around the dead girls neck and clasped it.

"It looks beautiful on her Andrea." Alice spoke. Andrea gave her a weak smile, placing her hand over Alice's affectionately.

"You know she really liked you Alice." She looked down at Amy and stroked her hair. "I… Can I just be alone with her? I know what I have to do and I will be the one to put her down, but I need to be alone with her." Dale offered her a smile as he helped Alice up.

"Whatever you want."


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Thanks again to those who left reviews! **_

_**Disclaimer: I just own Alice, not the Walking Dead.**_

* * *

Alice sat on a log, her fingers laced and against her chest. She had been praying for everyone that had died that day. She prayed for the walkers she had killed. She prayed for Amy, but most of all she prayed for Jessica. Silent tears slid down her blood stained cheeks as she watched Andrea cry over her sister's body. Weeks had gone by, and not once did she take the time to mourn her own sister.

She had been lucky that she got to celebrate all of Jessica's birthdays, unlike Andrea. All those late nights as kids they would have, staying up and talking. It still brought a smile on her face when she remembered how much of a rebel her sister was and how she would always get into trouble.

Alice let her eyes linger on the pit of burning bodies. The flames gave the illusion of kissing the sky, tinting it a light orange. When the first body had been thrown into the fire, Alice had stood close by and watched. She took in how the walkers grey skin blistered and turned black as the hungry fire consumed it. Though it was disturbing, what got her the most was the smell of rotting, burning flesh. As the smell assaulted her senses, she had gagged, but it sickened her that she could now sit a good distance from it and be use to the smell.

This was not some offensive perfume old women tend to bathe in, it was the scent of death. It troubled her to think that she had gotten use to the smell in any way.

Looking around, she saw everyone silently busying themselves, each coming to terms with the reality they faced. This was real. The world was truly over and now all any of them could do was depend on themselves and hope to live to see the end. How would it end, Alice had no idea, but she did not want to die and become a walker.

She looked down at her hands, examining them as if she had never seen them before. They were caked in dried blood. Who's blood, she couldn't be sure. Those hands had killed for the first time today. If she wanted to live, it wouldn't be the last time she killed. Alice held a sob down in her throat as it hit her what she had done.

She killed.

She knew it was so she could live, and those she killed were already dead, but it didn't ease her guilt. The walkers she put down were once normal people. They had families and other people that cared about them. Her hands started to shake slightly so she wrapped them around her midsection, holding herself. She couldn't allow herself to think too deeply about what she had done, not yet.

"You alright?" Alice looked up from her lap. Rick sat next to her, his eyes fixed on the pit of flames.

"Yeah." She replied, her voice soft and low. "I'm just a little shocked by what I did. I pulled the trigger on walkers."

"It's kill or be killed now Alice. Don't beat yourself up over wanting to live." He rubbed her back in a friendly manner. "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier but you did good out there. I'm surprise. To be honest, I didn't think you'd have it in you." Rick confessed.

Alice smiled humorlessly. "Me neither. To be honest, there was a moment when I was contemplating getting bitten."

"W-why?! I mean how-"

"I've been miserable, you know?" she paused before looking at the sky. "Everyone's got something to fight for here but me it felt like."

"You got Shane."

A bitter laugh erupted from her lips. "Shane's the reason why I'm so miserable." She unwrapped her arms from around her midsection. "There was so much I wanted to do before I met him, but I gave it all up just to be with him, and what has he ever given up to be with me?" she asked. Never had she verbally acknowledged how much of herself she let die to please Shane and how little he compromised with her. Rick desperately wanted to make his best friend look good, but he knew Alice was right. Shane had always been a take it or leave it kind of guy. "I wanted to be a dancer, remember that?"

"Of course I do." Rick smiled fondly at his friend. "I remember how you'd stay after school with Mrs. Patterson for extra lessons. You were really good. Remember prom?"

"Oh, don't remind me!" she let out a light laugh as the memory replayed in her mind. "Archie Peterson was my date. I was so excited to go with him, but he got the flu and couldn't come. I was so disappointed cause I had my dress and everything. It was a pink chiffon dress, the most skin I ever showed." She laughed a little to herself, remembering how mad her mother was when she saw it. "You know, I never thanked you for that night."

"What do you mean?"

"You took me to prom last minute. I'm sure you could have taken Lori, but you took me. That meant the world to me Rick. You were never embarrassed to be seen with me. You always defended me when people made fun of me."

"I defended you because you're my friend. They just never took the time to get to see how good of a person you are." Rick paused for a moment. "I always thought it was stupid of Shane to make you stop dancing. You were good at it. I know you would have been professional if you kept dancing."

Alice felt her heart beat speed up from his words. It had been very rare for anyone to praise her dancing. Not because she was bad, it was just so few people got to watch her. She had only danced in two shows and Rick had been there for both, cheering her on and giving her roses.

Shane never praised her when it came to the things she loved to do.

It should have been Shane sitting with her, checking to see if she was all right. It should have been him going down memory lane with her to take her mind off things. But it was Rick. It was always Rick that did the emotional things her husband should have been doing.

She couldn't blame Shane fully though. She allowed herself to be his doormat and she didn't want to be anymore. She was finally finding herself, and the new Alice had no space for Shane in her new life.

"I… I'm not sure if now's the time to ask, but do you know where Jessica is?" Rick asked. Alice felt her eyes water.

"Jessica… Jessica is dead." It still felt weird to say. It seemed like a lie.

"She's dead? How do you know that Alice? She could be out there, alive."

"No, Rick, she's dead. My dad killed her. He killed my ma too, then himself."

"How do you know this?"

"On my way home to get me and Shane's stuff, I stopped at my parents' house. Jessica and ma were already shot dead on the kitchen floor. Dad was still alive. He apologized for not being a better dad, then shot himself." Her lips started to tremble as she retold the story for the first time.

"I had no idea Alice." He pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry you had to see that." Her small body shook against his. He could hear her low sobs and felt his shirt getting wet. It broke his heart to see her cry. He held her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

"I need to stop." She pulled away from Rick and offered him a weak smile. "Andrea needs us, I don't need to be crying and making this about me."

"But you're mourning too."

"Yeah, and I kept it inside for this long, I can keep it in a little longer." She could keep the pain of seeing Jessica dead to herself, she could keep the foolish remorse she felt for killing walkers bottled in. She could and she would as long as she had to.

"That ain't healthy Alice."

"I know, but we got nothing but time now Rick. I'll mourn for Jessica, I will soon but for now I wanna be strong for Andrea."

"I'm always here if you need to talk Alice. I'm always here for you." He looked deep into her eyes, placing a hand on her shoulder for emphasis. "I got something for you."

Rick pulled something from the waistband of his pants and held it out to Alice. She looked at it curiously.

"What's this for?" she asked, taking it in her hand and examining it.

"I saw what you could do earlier with a gun. You know how to use it. Keep it for protection."

"Officer Grimes is giving me a gun?" she joked as she placed the handgun into the waistband of her own pants. "Is that legal?"

Rick chuckled. "I think the law is pretty much down the drain now a days, wouldn't you agree?" She nodded, smiling. He became serious again. "Something snapped in you Alice, I saw it in your eyes. Whatever you do, don't lose the humanity in you, please. Never lose the faith you have in people, because that is what is going to keep you going."

"I won't. I promise." She looked down at her cross that dangled from her bracelet. She couldn't lose hope and faith because that cross represented everything she believed in.

"Do you blame me Alice for what happened?" He suddenly asked after a moment of silence.

She furrowed her brows. "Why would I blame you Rick?"

"I wasn't here to help. Maybe if I had been…"

"Them walkers would have still came here. You brought guns with you. The three guns we had at camp wouldn't have been enough to stop them. We'd all be dead if you hadn't gone." She assured.

"That's not what Shane thinks."

Alice reached out and pushed back a few stray stands of his dark hair. "Shane thinks a lot of things. Don't make them right."

* * *

Lori had seen Rick pass Alice the gun; she had seen how he held her when she cried and how they laughed together as if today had never happened. She had no idea what they were talking about, but she felt a pang in her heart. She felt the bile rise from her stomach when Alice pushed Rick's hair back. It was a simple gesture, but his face lite up when she did.

The night Rick returned, they had made love for the first time in a while. She felt guilty the whole time and knew it was wrong not to mention to him what happened with Shane, but how could she?

They also agreed to work on their marriage and start over. Nothing had changed between them. The tension remained, as did Lori's resentment for Rick putting others before his family.

It had been so long since they had laughed the way he and Alice laughed. Maybe that was her fault, but it still hurt her. He had even trusted her with her own gun. He refused to give Lori one, though she had asked.

Alice and Rick had always been close. He claimed they were just friends and he just looked out for Alice, but he did things for her that he never did for Lori. It felt like he knew more about the blonde than he did about his own wife. They always had inside jokes, sharing secret laughs.

Lori and Rick never had the same relationship he and Alice had always shared. He was always more protective of her than Lori and she assumed it was because Alice didn't have many friends and was picked on.

It was like Rick to always want to protect people. That was why she fell in love with him, but at some point it became the reason she resented him. If she had to be honest with herself, part of the reasons he slept with Shane was to get back at Rick for him always putting other people's needs before hers.

Had he not wanted to always be the good guy, he probably would have never been shot and ended up in a coma. It was his fault she ended up with Shane, not hers. That's what Lori told herself when the guilt of what she had done became too much.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed! It means a lot to me! **_

_**Disclaimer: I just own my Alice.**_

* * *

"We don't burn our own! We bury them!" Everyone stopped what they were doing when they heard Glenn raise his voice. Daryl frowned.

"Don't make a difference what we do. It's safer to burn them."

"No, it does make a difference! We knew them!" Glenn argued.

Daryl rolled his eyes, annoyed. "So what? You gonna risk everyone's life cause you wanna-"

"I agree with Glenn, Daryl." Lori spoke as she walked closer to the two bickering men, her thin arms crossed over her chest.

"Why?! We gotta show them things who's boss! There ain't no laws anymore, there's us and them!"

"Exactly!" Lori yelled. "Exactly." She repeated, her tone softer. "We haven't had a moment since this thing happened to just be normal. We can't even mourn properly. This is the least we can do. We need to bury them with respect."

"Whatever. Now you wanna act all human. You wanna talk about respect?! You people handcuffed my brother to a roof! You reap what you sow man, just keep that in mind." He warned before walking off in a huff.

"Guys! I think Jim's been bit!" Jacque yelled, backing away from the man. Jim held his hands up and shook his head.

"Where you bit Jim?" Rick asked, standing from his seat on the log.

"What? No, I got a scratched. Just a scratch… A scratch…"

Shane stopped tending to the fire and stepped towards Jim. "Let's see then man."

"What for? I'm fine!"

T-dog walked over. "Jim, if you got bit…"

"I didn't!" Jim yelled, backing away from everyone.

"Just show us." Alice begged, praying that it was just a scratch. "Please!"

"No!" Jim raised his shovel and started to swing blindly, but was grabbed from behind by Shane. Daryl pulled Jim's shirt up. Everyone remained silent.

Jim had been bitten.

"Oh, Jim…" Alice whispered.

* * *

"So what do we do?" Alice asked softly, messing with a loose string on her tank top. Rick had called for a group meeting. "We can't just kill him."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Why the hell not? He got bit! Soon he's gonna be coming after us," he waved his rifle around the group. "for a meal."

"We can't just kill him." Rick glanced at Jim, who was sitting by the RV alone. "There has to be another way."

"You gonna take that risk?!" Daryl hissed, pointing his rifle this time in Jim's direction. "You wanna risk your family?"

"I never thought I'd say it, and as much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Daryl." Alice looked at Dale, her eyes wide in shock from his words.

"You think we should kill him, Dale?" she questioned, frowning deeply.

"I think we need to-"

"Why are we even having this conversation? Just put a bullet through his head, and be done with it!"

"Daryl, he's fine for now-"

"Who the hell asked you anyway woman?" he snapped.

Shane stepped towards him. "Hold on now, you can't be talking to my wife that way."

"We ain't got time for all this! I say we kill him now! You can go look for your aspirin, but I'm gonna deal with this problem!"

Daryl quickly aimed his gun at Jim and ran over, ready to shoot. Rick pulled out his gun and aimed at Daryl. Shane followed, ready to back his friend up. Shane grabbed Daryl, pushing his gun to the side while Rick pointed his gun in Daryl's face.

"We don't kill the living!" Rick hissed.

Daryl snarled. "That's funny coming from a man pointing a gun in my face." He pushed Rick's gun out of his face and walked off, but not before glaring at Alice. She frowned, but stayed silent. Rick and Shane walked back to the group.

"Look," Rick started. "I know it's a risk, but I think we should go to the CDC."

Shane frowned. "Whoa, I was with you 'till you said that. What makes you think that's a good idea?"

"Look, maybe they have a cure or something. If the government is still intact, you know the CDC is still up and running. They would protect that."

"What about Fort Benning? It's a military base Rick, you know it's protected!"

"Shane you saw what happened to the military out there!"

"I think it's safer!"

"It's also hundreds of miles away Shane." Lori chimed.

"She's right." Alice bit her lower lip before continuing. "We're low on supplies and gas. We won't make it. The CDC is much closer. Jim needs help. Who would know what to do better than someone at the CDC?"

"You can't be serious- you know what? Do whatever you want."

"Don't be like that brother."

"I don't want to talk about this right now. Come on Rick, let's scout the area."

Shane looked at Lori before walking off. She watched his back, frowning. As the group went their separate ways, she followed Alice. Alice stopped walking when she noticed Lori shadowing her. She turned around meeting the dark haired woman face to face.

"We really should talk Alice." She crossed her arms, looking at the blonde nervously.

"About what?" Alice asked

"Everything." Lori waited for her to speak, but continued when Alice just looked at her. "I… I was mourning over Rick. I was so down and Shane's his best friend. It started off as us just reminiscing about him. I'm so sorry Alice." Her eyes started to water. "I don't know what happened. It just did. I would never hurt you like that on purpose."

"But you did." Alice looked up to the sky to keep her tears from falling. "You slept with my husband until you found out Rick was alive. You looked me dead in my eyes knowing you were screwing my husband."

"It shouldn't have happened, but we didn't do it to hurt you, I promise you that!" Lori tried to reason.

Alice's small frame started to tremble from the built up rage she had been holding in. It was out of her character, but she wanted nothing more than to sock Lori in the mouth so she could stop trying to justify what she did. Her fist balled up. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" the other woman asked, unaware of Alice's violent thoughts.

"Stop trying to make what you did seem ok. You fucked my husband." Her lips tingled from swearing. "You fucked him over and over and you knew it would hurt me! After all the times he cheated on me and I went to you… You turned out to be the one I should have been watching out for the most." She hissed before turning her heels and swiftly walking to the RV.

Lori stood glued to her spot, staring at where Alice had been a moment ago. She hadn't expected that reaction. Alice had only cursed once since she knew the woman and that was when she went into labor with Carl. A large part of her figured she would apologize to Alice and everything would go back to normal. That was how it usually worked when she and Alice got into a disagreement. Even though she would go back to her tent and lick the verbal wounds Alice had inflicted upon her, Lori figured she would try another day. It had been a stressful day after all. That had to be it.


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: So here we are again with a new installment of World Without Words. Just a few more chapters left to go then boom! Done. But do not fret, there is a sequel naturally. Thanks to everyone for reading and those who rate! Kisses and cookies for everyone!**_

_**Disclaimer: As I have said many times, I do not own The Walking Dead, just Alice and her drama**_

* * *

"I'm gonna die." Jim hung his head, refusing to meet the pitiful blue eyes of the young woman that sat beside him on the cot. He let out a deep sigh, then looked outside the RV window, watching Andrea hover over her dead sister. "I survived all this time, just to… die."

"Don't say that Jim." Alice placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back on the bed. "We're gonna get you help. But in the meantime, lets clean that nasty bite." she tried to sound optimistic, but she had her own doubts.

"Like it will make a difference." He mumbled.

"Rick says-"

"Alice, who cares what Rick says. He has no idea what's out there just like you and I. I'm not gonna hang on every word he says. He means well, I know, but… But that won't save me."

Alice frowned, soaking some gauze in the little rubbing alcohol they had left. "Rick's a good leader. If his gut tells him we'll find something there, than we will."

"You speak so highly of him."

"This is gonna sting real bad Jim." He nodded his head to her warning before she wiped the bite. He bit his lower lip and tightly shut his eyes in pain. "There now, all done." She soothingly spoke. "I speak highly of Rick cause I've known him for years. He's a good guy."

"You like him."

Alice laughed a little as she unraveled some bandages. "Of course I like him, you're supposed to like your friends."

Jim sat up, smiling weakly. "No, you like him more than a friend would."

She frowned. "No, I don't."

"If you say so." He teased. "Now wrap me up already Nurse Walsh, I want to rest my eyes."

Glenn rushed into the RV, scaring Alice and Jim. He smiled sheepishly as if he had interrupted something he wasn't supposed to see.

"It's Andrea." Alice frowned, but followed the Korean boy out.

* * *

Andrea held her sisters hungry mouth away from her face. Tears streamed down her face as she struggled to find the old Amy in the walkers dead eyes. She knew her sister was gone and all that remained was this thing in her place. It was time to let her sister go, but she wasn't ready to. She needed Amy.

"I'm so sorry." She apologized. She didn't know how many times she could say it before the guilt faded. "I should have been there all these years. I never thought our time together would have been cut short. I wanted to protect you."

The pang in her heart told her she had failed as an older sister, she failed as a protector. The once vibrant Amy was gone now and it was her fault. Amy was never coming back and it was her fault. All of this was Andrea's fault. She regretted all the times she came down hard on her sister or opted out of spending time with her to be with her friends. All the times Amy wanted to play, but Andrea said no because she felt she was too old for dolls and pretend. If should take it all back, she would. If she could trade with her sister, she would in a heart beat.

Shane, Rick, and Dale emerged from the woods. Rick frowned when he saw Amy's reanimated body. He took the safety off his gun and held it up, watching Amy closely. Shane reached for his own gun. Rick slowly crept over slowly, his gun ready in case it was needed. He stood next to Alice. She was standing still as a statue, biting down on her thumb. Her eyes were watering. He knew she was thinking about Jessica. He couldn't imagine coming home to find his family dead and watch his father shoot himself. She was stronger than many took her for, because that would have been enough to drive anyone mad.

"I love you Amy. I'm sorry things ended this way."

Rick stepped forward when he saw the walker struggling harder to bite Andrea. Alice held an arm out to stop him, shaking her head no. She knew Andrea needed to be the one to put her sister down. Rick gave her an unsure look, but stayed put.

"I love you so much Amy. More than you'll ever know. I'm so sorry." She cried as she pulled her gun out. She held the walker in an embrace, pretending it was her Amy, then pressed her gun to its head. She pulled the trigger. The walkers body ceased moving. Amy and the walker were gone now. The blood had spattered onto Andrea, leaving a messy pattern of red dots on her face and shirt. There was a silence. No one knew what to say or do. Andrea cried, letting her sister's body fall softly.

Alice started walked over slowly. She gently pried the gun from Andrea's hand, placing it on the ground. Pulling the shaking woman into her arms, she held her. Alice knew that sometimes the best way to help was to not say anything at all.

Andrea sobbed into Alice's shoulder, crying so hard she choked a little. She wanted to thank Alice for being there, she wanted to tell everyone she would be fine, but all she could do was cry Amy's name. She wished it had been her that had been bitten instead. What was the point in living now? She wanted to be with her family now, with Amy. The last few weeks they had been together was great, it made her regret missing so much of her litter sisters youth, but she had thought they would make up for lost time.

She was half-right. It just wasn't enough time to Andrea. So many things were never said still. She wished she could have told Amy she loved her one last time while she was still the beautiful, alive girl she had once been. Andrea had said everything she ever wanted to, but it hadn't been to the real Amy. It had been to that walker that looked like Amy.

* * *

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" Rick watched everyone pack up their tents and belongings around the camp site.

"Well," Alice struggled to lift the bag with their cooking supplies. "if you feel like it's the right thing for us, then yeah."

Rick chuckled at the site of her struggling before grabbing the bag from her with ease. "You know you need a man to do this."

She looked around the campsite. "Yeah, I should go find one." Rick playfully pushed her before becoming serious again.

"Alice, what if I'm wrong? What if nothing is at the CDC?"

"Something has to be there." She reassured, placing a hand on his tan forearm. "I believe in your choice to go. Even if there ain't nothing there, it's better than going to Fort Benning. We would never make it there. Ain't got enough supplies as is."

"I just don't want to be wrong about this… A lot is riding on this trip to the CDC. I don't want to lead us into danger."

"Just have faith Rick. You're our leader, and if you lose faith, we all do."

"Leader?"

"Don't tell me your hearing is failing!" she joked. He didn't laugh.

"Alice, I ain't leader."

She let out a sigh, frowning. "But you are. You've always been. People listen to you cause they can trust you. You want what's best for everyone, not just yourself. That makes you a leader. We all believe in you Rick. I believe in you."

"Alice, come on! Jim's bandages need to be changed!" Glenn called, standing by the RV.

"I better go, my patient needs me." She smiled at him.

Rick watched Alice walk off. For as long as he could remember, Alice had never been amazing looking. She had an alright figure and a pretty face, yet there was something very attractive about her to him. He shook his head quickly. Why was he thinking of his close friend as attractive? That kind of thinking could ruin their friendship and now was not the time to cut ties. He needed her support and encouraging words. No one else seemed to be giving him any. He had expected Shane would be the one to do that, but since finding his family, things were different with his best friend. Something just didn't feel right. Lori was different too. He loved her, but did she love him?

Lori claimed to love him, but things always were so tense between the couple. Even making love felt strange. It felt force, just like her whispers of love and devotion to him. He wanted to blame the world ending on their relationship not being the same, but he knew better. Honestly, it was the same as it had been before he got shot.

_Cold embraces, empty words, and looks of blame._

She had wanted a separation before he had been shot. If the world were still intact, he would have probably been living on Shane and Alice's sofa right now. Even while he had been in his coma, he couldn't recall her visiting him often. He had a few hazy memories of Carl, Shane and Alice, but never Lori. He wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure Lori sent Carl with Shane when the boy wanted to see his father.

Rick wanted Lori to have his back on everything, he wanted her to go back to being the girl he met and fell in love with. He found himself wishing she would act more like Alice. At that moment, it hit him: even before the world had ended, he wanted Lori to be like Alice.

He didn't always had the right words to explain how he felt, but Alice always understood. She never judged him or constantly reminded him of his flaws. She didn't give him looks of disappointment and resentment.

Though Lori hadn't said it, he knew from the looks she would give him that she blamed him for the walkers attacking their camp. Her looks told him she thought that if he had stayed like she wanted, everyone would be alive. Andrea wouldn't have had to put her sister down, Jim would still be fine and everyone in their group would be alive. She refused to understand the guns were important and very needed. Without them, even more people would have died. Why couldn't Lori just understand that everything he did was to keep her and Carl safe?

Alice walk out the RV, Glenn tailing behind her. Her blonde hair was oily and her clothes soiled with blood. He knew it had been a while since she had a real bath, and yet she seemed perfect to him. He wanted to kick himself. Why was he looking at her that way? This was his best friend's wife, not to mention he had Lori. It was wrong to look at Alice that way.

But he couldn't deny that she had been on his mind more than necessary.

* * *

**_Hmmm what's going on here? I wonder what will happen now that Rick is getting all these weird feelings and epiphanies about Alice. _**


	19. Chapter 19

**_A/N: This chapter is a bit of a snooze I have to admit, but it had to be done. I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed and read! Every review makes me all smiley! Awesomeness guys, just pure awesomeness! Now I know some of you are wondering when the heck Rick and Alice are going to come clean to about how they feel to themselves and each other. Soon enough my dears, soon enough._**

**_Special thank yous to Padme4000 and tanakaL. I'm a fan of _****_Padme4000_** so you should go read what she has written!

**_tanakaL, your comment made me super cheesy! I really appreciate every review I receive, you have no idea how much it makes my day better. _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead cause I suck, but i do own Alice. Alice miiiine! Can you tell that I'm bored?_**

* * *

Alice sat in the passenger seat while Dale drove the RV. No one spoke, the only sounds heard were Jim's low moans of pain and the RV's motor. Glenn was in the back with Jacqui, helping to keep Jim comfortable. Every bump they would hit, Jim would let out a hiss of pain. He was getting worse, but no one wanted to admit that he would die before they reached the CDC. Jacqui had told Alice that he was delirious. Not much could really be done for him.

Their group had gotten smaller. Morales and his family decided to go on their own. They had family in Alabama, and wanted to be with them. They weren't sure if their family was still alive, but they were willing to find out. Rick had given Morales a revolver and Shane bestowed bullets upon him. Alice had said a prayer for them before they set off.

Dale glanced at Alice. She was fidgeting with her bracelet. He was pleased that she had decided not to ride with Shane. Dale had overheard her telling Shane that she needed to keep an eye on Jim. Shane looked upset, but didn't say anything else. She had watched him walk off in a huff. Dale could see her fighting the urge to run after him and follow him around like a lost puppy.

There was a shift in Alice; it was hard for Dale not to notice her staying away from her husband. After what he had witnessed Shane do in the woods, he was glad she was putting space between them.

Dale shifted in his seat, drawing Alice's attention. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He let out a deep exhale before he opened his mouth again.

"I think you should keep your distance from Shane." He spoke calmly, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Why?" she asked, her light brows shooting up her forehead.

"I saw something today when we went to do the sweep."

"Alright?"

"He… Alice, he aimed his gun at Rick when his back was turned."

"Shane? No, you must have seen it wrong. That's his best friend. Why would he… Shane would never…"

"Alice, I know it's hard to accept, but I know what I saw."

She looked down at her hands that rested on her lap. They started to shake from the new information. "Shane's a lot of things, but not a murderer…"

"These are different times Alice. No one is how they used to be. This new world won't allow us to stay the same."

"Are you sure you saw Shane aim his gun at Rick's back?"

"Yes, I'm sure." The RV started to slow down before coming to a full stop.

"Why are you stopping?"

Dale frowned. "I'm not." He honked his horn once to get everyone ahead attention "The hose is messed up again."

* * *

"I see something up ahead. If we're lucky, it's a gas station." Shane lowered his binoculars and looked back at the group. "How about I go look and you hold it down here Rick?" Rick nodded. The two men smiled at each other. Shane didn't look like a killer to Alice. "Come on Glenn." Glenn opened his mouth to object, but quickly closed it when Shane glared at him.

Alice watched Shane's movement and behavior closely. He would never aim a gun at Rick, would he? He seemed fine now. He didn't act like a man that had a problem with his friend. Rick and Shane were acting fairly normal. Minus the whole Shane sleeping with Lori thing, everything felt the same between the two for the most part. Maybe Dale was seen wrong, she couldn't believe him until she saw it for herself. She trusted Dale, but it didn't sit well with her to know that Shane would aim a gun at Rick, his best friend and brother. She wasn't sure if it was denial on her part or a visual mistake on Dales.

Shane may have loved Lori, but to kill his best friend over it? That was just absurd. He had known Rick long before he and Lori became an item. They had years of friendship, brotherhood. Shane may have crossed the line by sleeping with Lori, but he would never kill his brother over a woman. Would he? That didn't sound like her husband at all. Alice couldn't allow herself to think too deep into it. It was more trouble than it was worth she felt. Just as she did with every stressful situation, she put it in the back of her mind.

A few moments after Glenn and Shane left, Jacqui came rushing from the RV. Her hands were visibly shaking and her usually calm demeanor was gone.

"Jim's getting worse. It's not looking good." she somberly informed them.

Alice and Rick rushed into the RV.

"Please, no, not this…" Jim mumbled to himself. He was sweating profusely. Alice reached out to feel his forehead, but before she could even touch his skin, she felt the heat.

Jim was not going to make it.

Alice looked to Rick and shook her head, her eyes getting misty. She sat down next to the man she had grown to call a friend.

"Jim, it's me, Alice. Rick is here too." He opened his eyes and looked at them wordlessly. "What can we do to make you comfortable?"

"I want to be with my family Alice."

"Jim, your family is dead. You're delirious." Rick informed him.

"No, this is the clearest I've thought in a while. I don't know how long it will last, but I know what I want."

"We're almost there Jim. You just need to hold on a-"

"Rick, listen to me. I can't do it. My bones feel like glass. Every time we hit a bump it hurts so bad. I'm in so much pain."

"What are you asking us to do Jim?" Alice asked. She wanted to place a comforting hand on him, but it was making her hot just sitting next to him.

"Leave me."

"But-"

"No, Alice, this is what I want. This is my last clear thought, I know it."

"We have to inform the others and see what they say."

"Do what you have to deputy."

* * *

"We can't just leave him out here to die Rick!" Lori hissed, holding Carl close. It was clear that the boy was not as oblivious to the situation as everyone would have thought. He knew Jim was going to die, he knew it wouldn't be painless, but he also knew that Jim was going to heaven to be with his family.

Rick frowned at his dark haired wife. "I know, but it's what he wants."

"I think we should do it." Dale spoke. "It's not about us." Jacqui nodded in agreement, her arms folded over her chest.

"I know that, but we're so close to the CDC. And look, I see Shane. We can get him there. He came this far Rick, the CDC might be able to help him." Lori argued. "We'll kill him if we leave him."

"You guys thought I meant we kill him when I said I agree with Daryl earlier, didn't you? I meant we let him decided what he wants to do."

"We know want he wants to do. He ain't gonna change his mind." Alice chimed in.

"Alice, not you too! He has a chance-"

"Lori, he doesn't… He's burning up. I feel it without touching him. Honestly, we got another two hours before we reach the CDC. He won't make it that long. This whole ride has been hurting him. Makes no sense to keep torturing him."

"I still say we put a bullet through his head. He's gonna die anyway." Everyone turned their attention to Daryl, shocked by his nonchalant tone. He was casually leaning against his truck with his crossbow dangling in his hand. "Don't ya'll look at me that way. He wants to die."

"He doesn't wanna die." Alice corrected, feeling a little more bold talking to the arrogant redneck. "He just doesn't want to keep going with us to the CDC. It's too much for him-"

"Then what difference is a shot to the head? Either way, he's gonna die. Way I look at him, we're doing him a favor."

"It's not a favor if it ain't what he wants. He wants to be left and let nature take its course."

"So he wants to become a walker?" Alice stood quiet, not sure how to counter. "Thought so."

Rick stepped forward. He was proud Alice spoke up, but it was time for him to take over. "Look Daryl, it's his final wishes. It ain't no harm to us, so we do what he wants." Daryl rolled his eyes, but didn't reply.

Shane pulled up beside everyone and got out of his land rover. He looked around the group sensing the tension. Glenn followed behind, holding a worn out looking hose. He looked far from happy and Alice couldn't blame him. She knew what it was like to ride with Shane. He hardly ever spoke while driving unless it was serious.

"What's going on?" Glenn asked, handing Dale the hose.

"It's Jim." Jacqui answered. "He's… Gotten worse."

* * *

"Another tree, huh?" Jim joked as Shane and Rick sat him down. A soft breeze blew, bringing a little relief to Jim's hot skin. Shane gave a sad smile at the joke.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Rick asked. Jim nodded. "Will you at least take a gun?"

"For what?"

"Protection."

Jim laughed slightly. "I'm gonna die soon. I doubt I'm really need it. But thank you."

Jacqui leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on his burning forehead before hurrying off. She felt her tears start to roll down her cheeks, but didn't want Jim to see her cry. Everyone else said their good byes before walking off, none really knowing how to handle the situation. It was different to be bitten and die right away. No one had to watch them suffer. But it was everyone's first time dealing with someone who got bit and lived through it until the end.

Alice watched Rick walk off, leaving her and Jim alone. She opened her mouth to speak, but words seemed to fail her. She didn't know what to say. She had mentally gone through all the cliche things to say, but it just didn't feel right to use on Jim. Her chest tightened as she gazed at him. He could barely keep his eyes open and kept releasing low moans of pain. How it felt to slowly have ones body shut down, she had no idea and she really didn't want one either. One look at Jim was enough for her. She crouched down in front of him and gave him a sad smile. It was all she could offer him.

"Why so sad? You look like someone died." he joked dryly. He never could tell a great joke. That's what his wife would always tell him.

"That ain't funny Jim."

"I know," he admitted. "but I tried."

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Don't." he weakly pointed to the sky, his thin index finger trembling. "I'll be up there, happy. I'll be with my family again. I can't wait to see my beautiful wife."

"She'll be happy to see you."

"Alice?"

"Yeah Jim?"

"Don't be afraid."

"Of what?" she asked, confused.

"Of anything. Now's not the time to be weak and depend on those around you. Don't be afraid." He repeated, hoping she took his words to heart.

"I won't Jim. I won't for you." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Her lips burned, but she held it there for a few seconds. Her lips felt numb as if she had kissed a flame. She stood up and began to walk off.

"Alice." He weakly called. She stopped and looked at him. "Say… Say a prayer for me, would you?"

"I was going to, even if you didn't ask." She shot him one last smile. It was weak and full of sorrow, but it wasn't a happy occasion. She was never going to see him again. At that moment she regretted taking so long to get to know him.

Jim looked at the sky once more, hearing them drive away. He wanted to go with them, he wanted to live. His time had come, and he was scared. All he could do was sit there and wait.

* * *

Everyone left their vehicles. The moment Alice stepped outside, the putrid scent of death and decay assaulted her. Decomposing bodies laid everywhere. She had to step over a severed arm. The arm was bloated and grey with maggots crawling from the shoulder that lacked a body. Its fingers were balled into a tight fist and a gold bracelet on its wrist. For a moment, she felt the contents of her stomach rise to her throat, but quickly forced it back down. It would have been both disgusting and embarrassing to throw up. She wondered if this person had been alive when their arm was torn from their bodies. Had walkers done it? Was the person already a walker? She had to shake the thoughts from her head. With careful steps, the group walked to the CDC building, trying hard not to gag. Lori walked close behind Rick and held their son close. She looked as if at any moment she would pass out. Shane walked close to Alice, his gun drawn and ready for action. He walked through the streets of death as if he didn't see or smell anything. Glenn, however, had it the worse because of his sensitive stomach. Every few steps his cheeks would puff from the vomit that he tired to hold down in his stomach. He wasn't cut out for this.

"You can't be serious!" Daryl hissed once they reached the building. The metal gates were down all around it and no one seemed to be inside.

"I knew we should have went to Fort Bennet." Shane mumbled, rubbing his face in frustration.

"No…" Rick shook his head in disbelief. This couldn't be happening. "No, this isn't right!"

"Rick, we need to go. It's getting dark." Lori had that tone again, the tone that drove Rick mad. Disappointment. She was disappointed in him once again. "We need to get out of here before the walkers come." Lori reached out to pull him away from the gate. He yanked his arm away and began banging on it.

"What are you doing?!" Shane yelled. "You trying to get us killed?!"

"I know someone is in there!"

Alice reached for her gun when she spotted a walker. "Rick, we need to go. They're coming." Daryl aimed is crossbow and shot it in the head.

"Let's go!" Shane started to pull Rick away.

"That camera! I saw it move! Shane let go! Someone's in there!"

Lori looked at the camera, but saw no movement. "You're seeing things."

"No! Open up! I know you see us!"

"Shut up Rick! You're drawing attention!"

"You're killing us!" Rick violently thrashed against Shane's hold. "We have women and children. We have a little gas and food! Please help us!" he begged. "We need help! You're going to kill us!"

"No one is in there!"

Suddenly, the gate rose up. Everyone shielded their eyes from the blinding, bright light. For a moment, no one moved, shocked that someone had actually been inside.


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: So I haven't updated in a while and I wish I had an awesome excuse like a bear attacked my laptop or something. But I don't. It was a combination of laziness and needing to take a step back from writing the sequel. Honestly, World Without Words has been done for some time, but I'm buying myself time to get half way done with the sequel and I was running low on ideas and needed to take a break from it. Anyway, thanks to those to read this and like it as much as I do. It means a lot to me to know people like my work =) you guys are golden baybay! **_

_**Disclaimer: Don't own The Walking Dead, do own Alice.**_

* * *

Daryl, Shane, and Rick had their weapons drawn as they cautiously entered the CDC. A man stood in the center of the room, his gun also drawn and pointed at them. Alice took a moment to look around, noticing that the windows all went from the floor to the ceiling. There were a few red chairs covered in a thin layer of dust. It was a large space with a few artificial plants places at the corners of the room for decoration.

"What do you want?" the man questioned apprehensively. His sandy blond hair was disheveled. The outer corners of his eyes were etched in crow's feet and his face held a wisdom that he had earned through this ordeal .

"A chance." Rick responded, his gun still aimed at the unfamiliar man. Both men stared each other down for a moment, sizing each other up.

"That's asking a lot these days, don't you think?"

"I know… But we need the help. Please." The mans eyes wondered to the group behind Rick.

He analyzed them quickly, his rifle still pointed. "Is anyone infected?"

"There was one, but he's gone now."

"I'll still need a blood sample from you all, that's the price of admission."

Rick nodded his head quickly. "Done."

"Alright. If you need to get anything from outside, I suggest you get it now. Once the gate comes down, there's no going back." He warned.

* * *

They all stood close together in the tight elevator, everyone holding belongings close. Alice eyed the back of the mans head, her thin, dirty fingers fidgeting with the straps of her bag. He didn't seem dangerous. She licked her dry lips, moistening them.

"We're a rude bunch I suppose. We ain't even ask your name." she spoke softly. Shane looked at his wife, surprised that she had spoken first.

"No, it's my fault. As your host, I should introduce myself. My name is Dr. Edwin Jenner." He looked around the tense elevator, unsure of what to say next.

"Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Daryl asked.

"Well, there were plenty left so I familiarized myself with them." He paused for a moment before continuing to speak. "You all look harmless enough." He smiled slightly when his eyes landed on Carl. "Except you, I may have to keep an eye on you." The boy sheepishly smiled.

They all stepped out of the elevator and turned into a narrow hallway. Carol looked around, holding her daughters hand tightly.

"Are we underground?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Are you claustrophobic?"

"A little." She admitted.

"Try not to think about it." Was the best that Dr. Jenner could offer the woman.

Andrea had not spoken since entering the CDC and Alice noticed. She placed her bony hand on the woman's shoulder. Andrea gave her a small, hollow smile, but still did not speak. Her eyes were misty as if at any moment she would burst out into tears. The happy, strong woman Alice remembered meeting was nowhere to be found.

"Vi, bring on the lights to the big room." Dr. Jenner called to out. Alice looked around, wondering if she had missed the one called 'Vi', but saw no one. The lights came on showing a room filled with a neat cluster of computers in the center. It shot chills down Alice's spine to see how empty and cold the room had been, knowing at one point people sat at those computers. Where were those people now? Were they nothing but memories?

"Welcome to zone 5."

"Where is everyone? The other doctors, the staff?" Rick asked, looking around as if a welcome party of doctors in white lab coats would pop out.

Jenner walked to the center of the room and looked back at Rick. "I'm it. It's just me here."

"What about the person you just spoke with? Vi?" Lori asked.

"Vi, say hello to our guest, tell them welcome." Everyone half expected a woman to appear out of thin air.

"Hello guest." A robotic female voice spoke. "Welcome."

"I'm all that's left… I'm sorry." Ricks face dropped.

He didn't want to lose hope. Alice had been right. Everyone depended on him to have the answers and keep the hope. It was getting harder to believe there was any hope or an answer to this. He looked at everyone's face, letting his eyes linger on Carl. He needed to make sure his son survived this all, but what if he was just conning himself into believing there was a safe haven for them? What if this wasn't the answer they had been looking for? For now the CDC was better than roughing it outside. It was a place to lay his head and finally get a good nights sleep, it was a place where Carl could be safe for the moment.

* * *

Dale laughed jubilantly as he refilled Alice's glass with the red wine Dr. Jenner had gifted them. She thanked him as she took it and sipped it slowly, savoring the flavor. Before the world ended, she had only drunk wine on special occasions, now she wondered why she hadn't treated herself to a glass daily. Wait, she remembered now, her mother would say it was sinful to indulge in such activity. Even on her wedding day, her mother had been closely monitoring her champagne intake.

She looked down at her plate. It was a real plate. White and basic, but it had been a while since she had eaten off one. She felt silly for almost rejoicing over the sound of her metal fork clinking against the porcelain dish. Their celebration dinner was nothing special, but it was better than what they had been eating at the camp. Alice played with her powdered eggs before taking a bite. Of course it didn't taste like the real thing. In fact the taste reminded her of paste. It wasn't the most delicious thing, but at that moment, it tasted heavenly with the chewy freeze dried meat.

Any meat was better than squirrel.

Alice looked across the table at Daryl. He was eating the food, but didn't look too thrilled. He liked hunting down his food, he enjoyed the backbreaking labor it took to haul his catch to camp, skin and clean it then have someone cook it. This freeze dry shit was no where close to how good the venison he would catch tasted. This stuff was like chewing the rubber sole of his boot. In fact he may as well have been doing that because it was as flavorless as he imagined a rubber sole to be.

Carl had been allowed to try some wine. He took a sip of it and made a disgusted face as he pushed his cup away. Lori took his cup and poured it into her glass as she praised him for not liking the taste. Everyone erupted in laughter at the faces he kept making, trying to get the bitter after taste out of his mouth. Rick's lips curled into a smile as he patted his son on the head, feeling carefree for once in a long time.

"Stay sober there boy." Shane spoke, brooding at the end of the table. Alice looked at him, and for a moment, he looked back at her, but darted his eyes away just as quickly. Something was on his mind and she wonder what.

Shane didn't want to admit that he was hurt that Alice had purposely sat away from him or that Lori was avoiding him. The two women he cared about were the same two women causing his mind to run rampant. Trying to talk to Lori was pointless. All she would do was give him short, angry replies. Alice just looked for excuses to get away from him. His eyes drifted to Rick. He was laughing with his son and Lori was looking down at Carl with a fond smile only a mother could give. He longed to have Lori look at him and smile. He should have been sitting where Rick was. He should have been the one laughing with Lori and Carl. Before Rick decided to show his face again, Shane had been the one Lori would smile at and Carl would laugh with. Shane wanted to punch himself for become too use to taking Rick's place. He never should have gotten that comfortable with Lori, but he did and now he was paying the price.

"Not you Glenn. You keep drinking." Daryl said before taking a swig of whiskey. He smirked at the Korean man, not bothered by the burn of the whiskey down his throat.

"Huh? Why?" he asked, looking up from the wine bottle he had been reading.

"I wanna see how red your face can get."

"Oh haha." He humorlessly laughed.

Rick stood up, clinking on his wine glass with his fork. "It seems we haven't thanked our host." He tilted the glass in Dr. Jenner's direction. He was sitting separate from everyone, watching them all celebrate. It was odd that he was quiet and sitting alone, but no one questioned it. Maybe he just needed to get use to being around people again.

"He is more than just our host!" T-dog yelled as he raised his glass.

"Boya!" Daryl yelled, lifting his half-filled whiskey bottle. He was smiling and laughing. It was the first time Alice had seen him happy or smile for that matter. Maybe all he needed to be friendly was some alcohol.

"Boya!" everyone except Shane and Dr. Jenner repeated.

Alice giggled slightly from the buzz she was starting to feel. Shane had heard her and looked over. She was flashing a brilliant smile, the smile Shane loved. That same smile could melt his heart in a second. He felt an unfamiliar pain in his chest.

"Thank you." Rick looked at Dr. Jenner. He looked uncomfortable and far from flattered as he held his own glass up before downing his drink in two large gulps.

"So when you gonna tell us what the hell happened here Doc?" Shane asked. Everyone grew silent, either eager for an answer or annoyed at Shane bringing up a heavy topic.

"Uh the other doctors were supposed to be figuring out what happened."

Shane held his glass, looking at it before speaking again. "And where are they?"

"Shane, please," Alice frowned at her husband. "we're all celebrating. Ain't no need to talk about this right now."

"No, Alice this is why we're here right? This was your move Rick, we're supposed to be finding all the answers." he let out a humorless laugh and pointed at Jenner. "We found him. We found one man, why?"

"Well," Jenner started. "when things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military got over run, the rest bolted."

"Every last one?"

"No, many couldn't face walking out the door. They opted out." The table grew somber. "There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."

"But you didn't leave." Andrea spoke for the first time. "Why?"

"I… I just kept working, hoping to do some good."

Glenn stood up and looked at Shane. "Dude, you are such a buzz kill."


	21. Chapter 21

**_A/N: Thanks to those who read and review! I appreciate it so much! World Without Words is almost done and then it's sequel time! Yay!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead nor did I create it._**

* * *

Alice ran her fingers through her slightly knotted hair, a small moan of satisfaction sliding past her moist lips. She had forgotten how good hot water felt. Dr. Jenner had showed everyone their rooms and they all had showers. Showers with hot water. Dr. Jenner had been kind enough to give everyone their own room to sleep in. He had offered Alice one with Shane when he found out they were married. Alice had declined as politely as she could. The look of confusion on Shane's face was not missed by her, so she quickly explained she how she didn't feel like Andrea was ready to be alone. It had been partially the truth, but it was mostly an excuse to get away from Shane. She wasn't ready to sit him down and tell him she knew about he and Lori. That would have to be a conversation for another day. Alice looked up at the shower head, closing her eyes and letting the drops of water kiss her face. She had been lucky that the CDC had an abundance of unused quarters, each with personal showers.

She watched the dried blood, dirt, and soapsuds run down the drain. She had been covered in so much filth that the white soap bar turned light grey after her first lather with it. As she messaged the shampoo into her hair, working it into a sudsy afro, she couldn't help but laugh. There was no reason behind her laughter. It just felt good to take a real shower and not the birdbaths she had grown accustom to. She blew the suds into the air and watched them fall onto the shower floor. She felt a pang of guilt for being so happy when Andrea in the room across the hall, still mourning the loss of her sister, but she couldn't control how joyful she felt from a simple shower.

"Knock knock."

Alice frowned, stepping from under the water and poking her wet head out of the shower. "Oh, Shane." She unconsciously covered her chest with the curtain. "Something wrong?"

"Nah, just wanted to check up on you." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Got room in there for one more?"

"I uh.." She debated letting him in. She hated to admit it, but it was so much easier to say she was done with Shane than to really do it. Rick was back now and Lori clearly didn't want anything with Shane anymore, maybe they could work out this time. She wanted to smack herself for her own thoughts. She promised herself she'd be strong, she promised Jim. Allowing Shane back for any reason would just be a step backwards. She had given him plenty of chances in the past and he never took them seriously. Why would this time be different? "Well I'm almost done in here so it wouldn't make no sense."

"I see." He shifted his feet awkwardly. "I guess I'll just go to my room then." He looked disappointed as he walked out of the small bathroom. She frowned as she shut off the shower. She wasn't excited all of a sudden about the hot water.

She felt horrible for rejecting him even though he had deserved it. As much as he had manged to hurt her, she had to admit that a part of her would always love Shane. He had been her first love and those who knew them now couldn't see why she stayed with him, they also didn't understand that he hadn't always been like that. It was so easy for Andrea to say she was stupid for caring about him, but she wasn't there when Shane only saw Alice and no one else. Back then, it didn't matter what other female was present, Shane would focus on her. Maybe it was because she was different from all the other girls he had been with. She honestly didn't care what his reasoning had been because he made her feel special. His heart may not have always been in the relationship fully, but she could never deny that he loved her in his own way.

Alice had spent many nights alone crying into his pillow and those memories could never be erased from her mind. When he would come back home, she would swallow her pain and throw on her mask of a happy wife. A part of her wondered why she couldn't take Shane back one last time, she had done it easily in the past. Shane sleeping with Lori didn't hurt her more than his usual cheating misadventures. What truly hurt was that he had fallen in love with Lori. He wanted Lori in a way he never wanted Alice. Jealousy was something the blonde rarely felt, but whenever she would lay in her cot alone in the RV, her heart would pound in pain with envy. Lori got the love Alice always wanted, and she didn't even want it. Shane had just been a distraction for Lori and now that her husband was back, things needed to end. She could never let herself forgive Lori for being with Shane. Had Rick never shown up, what would have happened?

Shane was her comfort zone. Now she had to break away from her addiction to being a victim to his cheating. She was scared. Who was she without Shane? He had defined her very being since they had started dating 7 years ago. Before Shane, her Bible wielding parents defined her. Now she was forced to learn who she was and it frightened her to know she couldn't use Shane as a shield anymore.

Alice had to grow up and find herself without Shane.

* * *

Alice walked into the rec room, nursing a glass of wine, and grabbed a random book off the bookshelf. Reading the back of it, Alice slowly made her way to the plush green couch and flopped down. There was nothing special about the room. The walls were eggshell white, some of the paint was starting to chip off noticeably. It was a decent sized room with an old school Mr. PacMan arcade system. Alice couldn't help but smile fondly at the game, remembering how Shane taught her how to play. She still sucked by the end of the date, but he tried and they both had so much fun that they lost track of the time.

Just about everyone had turned in for the night, excited to sleep on a real bed. Those who hadn't were still drinking in the cafeteria, continuing celebration of finding safety. It had been so long since any of them got to enjoy such simple pleasures they once took for granted.

"You seem to be enjoying the wine." Alice looked up from her book. She patted the cushion next to her, smiling.

"Come, sit with me Rick." She eyed the bottle of white wine he was drinking straight from.

He sat down. He grabbed the book she held and skimmed through it. "I never figured you to be into science fiction." He handed it back to her.

"I'm not, but it's the first thing I grabbed." She reached out and brushed his hair to the side. Things felt normal for once. "I'm just excited to finally have some real lights, not a camp fire. I don't care what I read."

"Hey, Alice," he had a thoughtful look. "I wanna ask you something. Why you ain't sleeping with Shane tonight?"

"To look after Andrea." She quickly replied.

"I know you Alice. That ain't the only reason."

She let out a sigh. "I don't wanna sleep with him is all." She didn't want to say more than that. Rick didn't need to know how her stomach churned when Shane touched her or how every time he was near her, all she could think about was him and Lori together.

"What do you think of this place?" Rick asked when he realized she wouldn't say more on the topic.

"I like it here. Anything is better than what's going on outside, right?"

"I guess."

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I just… I don't know Alice. How long can we really stay here?"

"As long as Dr. Jenner lets us I suppose."

"And when we have to leave? Then what do we do? It's hard to find supplies and at some point we're gonna run out of ammo. What do we do then?" he let his head fall back against the couch, looking at the ceiling. He knew he shouldn't have been telling her he had no hope, but the buzz the wine was giving him was making it hard not to. "Everyone is looking to me for answers Alice. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna let anyone down, I don't wanna be the reason anyone dies. But I have no idea where to go from here. I don't think we can survive this Alice."

She frowned. "Don't talk like that Rick. You gotta believe there's a way, an answer to all this."

"And where are we gonna find this answer? I thought it would be here, but all we found was Jenner and he ain't a big help. I keep losing hope. I thought there was a chance at first. But now…" his words drifted. He had yet to really think about the situation they were in. There hadn't been a calm moment since he awoken in that hospital bed. Now that he had peace for the first time in a while, his mind was racing more than ever. Was there really a way to survive or was he conning himself into believing there was? He felt a cool hand rest on top his.

"We'll figure things out. You don't have to put all the weight on yourself. We'll all help Rick." Alice assured. Rick looked at her then down at her hands. They were tanner than usual from spending her days in the sun. Her words were just words but they oddly calmed him down a little.

"You always know what to say." He muttered before taking her hand and placing a lingering kiss on it. Her body tensed noticeably before she pulled her hands away and cleared her throat. He snapped back to his senses. "Look, I'm sorry Alice. I ain't mean anything by that." He assured, realizing how inappropriate he must have come off to her.

This was wrong. He loved Lori and she was married to Shane. Why did his body feel warm and his lips tingle all of a sudden?

"I know… It's fine." She spoke before taking a sip of her wine nervously. Her hand felt hot where his lips had touched. Hot in a good way, and it scared her.

"I'll go if I made you feel uncomfortable or anything."

"It's fine Rick. Why are you up anyway?" she changed the topic, trying to ease the discomfort. "I thought you turned in for the night."

"I did. I just ended up laying there. Too much was on my mind." He replied.

He had tossed and turned for a good hour before he gave up trying to sleep. Lori seemed a little shook when he first came to bed. Something must have been on her mind as well, but she quickly drifted to sleep. He wasn't as lucky. He kept thinking about keeping everyone alive, where to go from here, why Lori was acting so strange, and why Shane was being distant.

"You think way too much Mr. Grimes." Alice joked before refilling her glass with Ricks bottle.

"Hey, you can't just take a man's wine like that."

"Oh? Well I just did." She took a sip. "Mmm it tastes even better when it's been stolen from someone."

Rick laughed before snatching her glass and downing it in two gulps. "You're right, stolen wine does taste better."

She frowned. "Jerk."

She smiled at him sweetly as he took her glass and refilled it. He wasn't sure why, but when she smiled at him that way, he felt his heart speed up. He could hear it and was almost sure she could too.

He couldn't cross that line with her, there would be no going back if he did. This was his best friend's wife. He wanted to kick himself for having thoughts about her. Maybe it was the growing distance between he and Lori or maybe it was the fact that she had always been the one that understood most when words failed him.

Rick handed her the half-filled glass, their hands brushing. He got a chill. Her skin was so soft.

"Alice… I…" he wasn't sure what he was trying to say or if he even had anything to say in the first place. He knew what he was about to do would change everything. It was wrong, but he couldn't help himself.

"What is it Rick?" The way she said his name, he realized no one said it like her. All of his self-control left at that moment. Before either of them could say another word, his lips were pressed against hers. At first she tried to pull away, push him away, but he just pulled her closer, kissed her harder. Had he been completely sober, at any sign of her struggling he would have stopped.

Maybe if he got it out of his system, he would stop thinking about her so much. He would see her as just a friend who always had his back. He would apologize later and make it up to her somehow, but for now he needed this.

He needed to prove to himself what he felt was just due to his stress, nothing more. He would kiss her and feel nothing. No spark. It would feel like kissing his sister.

Rick knew his logic behind his action made little sense in all honesty, but he had to find a reason for his insanity. He was going about this the wrong way, but he had already kissed her and he couldn't take it back now. Not ever.

Alice gave in and melted into his arms, surprising him. She kissed him back with equal force, mimicking the movement of his soft lips. Her thin arms wrapped around his neck and with uncertainty, pulling him even closer to her warm body. Rick tilted his head more, deepening their connection. Alice's lips worked against his perfectly but with an innocence he couldn't describe.

Rick could taste the wine on her lips; smell the sweetness of it in her breath. Her kiss was bringing on a different kind of intoxication, one no alcohol could match. His heart was pounding against his rib cage from the excitement and pure bliss he was feeling.

They both pulled away slowly, looking each other in the eyes as if it were some corny romance movie. Rick let out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding.

That's when it happened.

Alice covered her mouth, letting out a muffled 'oh God'. Rick closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as he came crashing back to reality. What had he done?

She shot up from her seat, her book falling from her lap and onto the floor. Rick stood up as well and reached for her arm.

"No." she jerked away. "No, I have to go… I need bed… Sleep… Oh God."

"Alice, I didn't mean to-"

"Oh God… You're married and I'm married. That was wrong. This is wrong."

"Let me explain."

"What's there to explain Rick?" she hissed in a hushed tone, her eyebrows furrowed. "We kissed. How would you explain that? You tripped and my lips broke your fall?"

"Well… No, but Alice-"

She held her hands up and backed away from Rick. "I can't think right now. I don't wanna think about this. This didn't happen Rick." She quickly ran out of the rec room leaving Rick alone.

He flopped down on the couch and cradled his head in his hands. Letting out a deep sigh he looked to where Alice had been sitting. This wasn't supposed to happen. He had kissed his best friend's wife. He had been so sure that kissing her would prove that he really felt nothing towards her, they were just good friends. He would kiss her, feel nothing and all would be alright.

The only problem with his theory was he had been wrong. He took a long swig from his wine bottle. He couldn't think a complete thought anymore. He only knew one thing for sure at that moment, and he had a feeling he always knew it.

He had feelings for Alice and they were far from friendly.


	22. Chapter 22

**_A/N: Ah, finally some action for Rick and Alice! Anyway, only two more chapters left! Finally!_**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Walking Dead, if I did, I'd be the coolest person ever.

* * *

The morning had begun well for Alice. Andrea had been up and out of the room before she had even woken up. This gave her more than enough time to take another long, hot shower. Since it was such a luxury and one could never know when another shower would come, Alice washed her hair for the second day in a row.

As she stood in front of the mirror in her white, fuzzy towel, she gently combed her wet hair. Alice began to hum a tone she recalled hearing in church a few times and swaying softly to it. Slowly, she stopped and began to stare at her reflection. It had been a while since she danced. Even slightly swaying filled her with joy she had long forgotten. But something else also had made her happy.

Rick.

She ceased moving and humming, letting her fingers trace her slightly parted lips. He had kissed those lips. She could still taste his wine coated lips and feel his stubbly chin against her smooth face.

Ricks kiss had not been rushed nor too wet or forceful. It was… Alice had no real way to explain other than it was a kiss that was uniquely Ricks.

Her smile dropped when her eyes landed on her wedding band. What they had done was wrong. They were both married and although their respected partners had been unfaithful together, that didn't grant them permission to kiss.

She wasn't in love with Shane any more, but she knew Rick was still in love with Lori. Rick hadn't kissed her because he liked or wanted to be with her. He had been drinking. The thought of her and Rick together had never crossed her mind, but the kiss they shared felt right. It was wrong to kiss in the first place, but that didn't stop Alice from realizing she had always wanted Rick. Long before she knew Shane, it was Rick. Long after she married Shane, it was Rick. It had always been Rick that she wanted to be with, but Alice had always known it couldn't happen. He was a friendly guy and wanted to help people. Of course he was nice to her and would listen to her problems with Shane. He was just being a friend, nothing more.

Their kiss had been a mistake. Rick would never know the strong feelings his kiss awoke in her. He didn't need to know. He was stressed enough and she cared too much about him to be selfish and tell him.

Alice felt her eyes begin to water. She wished she could to be selfish for once.

For a moment, her mind flashed back to the night in the hospital after he had been shot. She had been contemplating kissing him, but convinced herself not to. After going home, she didn't allow herself to think of that moment anymore.

What had she been thinking in that room with him? She couldn't remember, but what she did recall was how his face felt under her fingers. She had figured the urge to kiss him came from her lack of real affection from Shane. Rick was always there for her, he always comforted her. Rick always gave her attention when he was around. Why wouldn't she want to kiss him? It wasn't because she loved him or liked him as more than just a friend. It was just because he was there for her. It didn't make much sense, but it made enough to Alice for her to accept it at the time.

But now she knew. She probably knew even then.

She could never see Rick Grimes as just a friend again, but she would have to force herself to not think about her feelings for the man. Things were stressful enough.

* * *

Alice could feel Ricks eyes following her as she got a cup of coffee and some bacon and eggs T-dog whipped up. Even though she was sure he was giving her an apologetic look, she didn't want to see it. As much as she hated to admit it, a small part of her held on to the hope that he wasn't sorry for what he did. She wanted him to want her.

She sat down and sipped her coffee. For a moment she wanted to cry. It had been so long since she had coffee with sugar. It tasted amazing.

Everyone but Shane and the doctor was seated at the cafeteria table eating.

Glenn groaned as he cradled his head. It felt heavy. He wanted to throw up then lay by the toilet in a fetal position. Glenn wasn't really a drinker and he knew that, but Daryl got to him. He couldn't let the redneck be right about how he couldn't hold his liquor. The redneck ended up being right and Glenn had to deal with a nasty hangover. He picked his head up when he saw a cup slid in front of him. Alice smiled, also pushing giving him her plate.

"You need to eat. If I gotta force feed you, I will." She playfully threatened.

"Alice, please, don't ever let me drink again." He begged before forcing himself to sip the coffee. He gagged. When he gagged, his head started to pound even harder. Today was going to suck

"Where are you going Rick?" Lori asked as her husband started to stand from his seat.

"To get Alice some coffee." He held up his empty mug. "I was going to get myself some more anyway."

"Oh… Alright." Lori spoke before eating her food.

Alice wanted to tell him it was fine, but she couldn't even bring herself to look at him. He placed the mug in front of her. He tried to make eye contact with her, but she avoided him.

"Three sugars, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks." She wouldn't look at him. He let his eyes linger on her for a moment before sitting down.

Rick sat back down, feeling regret in his gut. Did he really believe that he would kiss her and things would go back to normal? He started to message his temples. Not only did he feel sick from Alice avoiding him, he was also hung over from drinking more once she left the rec room. He knew he shouldn't have drunk more, but he desperately wanted to numb himself of all his problems for a while.

"Here," Lori smiled while digging into her jean pocket. She pulled out an aspirin bottle and handed it to him. "Figured you might need it."

Rick thanked his wife as he opened the bottle. His wife. He had a wife that he loved. He knew he loved Lori, she and Carl were all he could think about when he had first woke up. Things had been tense between them, but that didn't make what he did right. If he forced himself to admit it, he did always have a small crush on Alice, but his heart belonged to Lori, right? His stomach started to tighten. He kissed a woman that wasn't Lori, he kept having thoughts about a woman that wasn't Lori. What was happening?

"Oh thank God!" Glenn held his pale hand out, waiting for the cure to his pain.

Lori laughed a little at him, but stopped instantly when Shane walked in. He didn't look at her, but went straight for the coffee. She could feel Alice looking at her, so she looked down at her plate of food instead.

"You feel as bad as I do?" Rick asked Shane, trying to seem as normal as possible. Things were already edgy between them, he didn't want to risk making it worse.

"Yeah." Shane flatly answered as he poured a cup of coffee for himself. "You need anything Alice?"

The blonde looked up, surprised he had noticed she was there. "No, I'm good. Thanks."

"What the hell happened to you?" T-dog questioned. Alice looked at her husband and frowned when she saw.

"Huh?"

"Your neck." T-dog pointed to three long scratches that went from his neck up to his cheek.

"Must have done it in my sleep"

Rick gave him a strange look. "I ain't never seen you do that before."

"Me neither." He glanced at Lori, but she quickly shoved food into her mouth and looked away. "That ain't like me at all."

"You should have come to me this morning Shane." He took a seat next to Alice as she continued speaking. "You could get an infection like that." She gently grabbed his face and inspected the scratches. "They're not too deep luckily"

"It's fine Alice. I took care of it already. Thanks." Shane grabbed her hand and kissed it affectionately. She tried to pull away without him or anyone else noticing, but he held on tighter. Rick watched from the corner of his eyes, but remained silent. He saw how uncomfortable Alice had been as Shane held her hand. No one else seemed to notice, but he definitely did. Shane felt her give a slight struggle to get her hand back, but he wasn't going to let go.

Lori rejected him the night before. Maybe it was the alcohol that made him do it, but he didn't mean to try and force himself onto her. He just wanted her to know he loved her and that he knew she loved him. She had to. What happened between them wasn't a mistake, it was love. She just had to see it.

Now that Rick was back, Lori wanted nothing to do with him and Alice was avoiding him. Shane wondered if she knew he had been sleeping with Lori. Even if she did, it wouldn't explain her behavior towards him. It wasn't like it was the first time he cheated. She always took him back as if nothing happened. What had changed?

Dr. Jenner walked in and said good morning as he walked over to the coffee maker.

Dale cleared his throat before starting to speak. "Doc, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing in the morning…"

"But you will anyway." Jenner said as he made his coffee.

"We didn't come here for eggs." Andrea spoke for the first time that morning.

"I figured. Follow me then."


	23. Chapter 23

_**Disclaimer**_: I do not own TWD or the characters, however I do own Alice and her drama.

* * *

Dr. Jenner walked to the center of the lab and placed his coffee mug down on a computer desk. He looked around the room for a moment before speaking, observing everyone's face.

"Give me playback of TS-19."

"Playback of TS-19." Vi repeated over the intercom.

A large flat screen in the front of the room turned on and images of a brain from different views appeared.

"Two people ever got a chance to see this."

"Is that a brain?" Carl asked no one in particular.

Dr. Jenner smiled at the boy. "An extraordinary one." He looked back at the screen, his smile fading. "Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for EID."

"Enhanced Internal View" Vi spoke.

Everyone watched the screen closely, each wondering if the answers were going to unfold before them. Their eyes fixed on the rapid lights in the brain that were going off as the image zoomed to closer to the center of the brain stem.

"What are those lights?" Shane asked, squinting his eyes slightly.

"That is a persons life." Jenner began to explain. "Experiences, memories, everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, in all those ripples of light is you. The thing that makes you unique and human. It determines what a person does, think, or say from the moment of birth until death."

"Death?" Rick repeated. "Is that what this is? A vigil?"

"Yes, or rather a playback of a vigil."

"This person died." Andrea took a shaky step closer to the screen. "Who?"

"Test Subject 19." Dr. Jenner replied. "Someone who was bit and infected and volunteered to have us record the process. Vi, scan forward to the first event."

Alice feet stayed glued in their spot, but she watched the screen closely. She was watching the life of someone end and it was a strange feeling. This test subject had been bitten, knew they were going to die, and willingly let themselves be restrained to a table in the name of science. It took courage to spend their last moments like that, and she wondered if she would have been able to do it. 'I doubt I could' she mused to herself.

"Scanning to first event." The image zoomed out and showed the whole brain.

"What is that?" Glenn asked. He could still feel his head pounding from his hangover.

"It invaded the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhages. The brain goes into shut down, followed by the major organs." The brain and rapid light activity started to dim on the screen. "Everything you were or ever would be, gone."

Andrea felt tears start to slid down her cheek but she didn't make a sound. Dr. Jenner brows knitted together, confused as to why she was crying.

"She lost somebody two days ago." Lori explained, her voice low and sympathetic.

"I lost someone too. I know how devastating it is. Scan to the second event." The doctor quickly spoke, not wanted to think about the topic of loss.

"Scanning to second event."

"The resurrection times vary widely. We've had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we've heard of was eight hours and in the case of this patient, it took us two hours, one minute, and seven seconds." He looked at the screen with wretched eyes. The brainstem relit as Dr. Jenner spoke.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked, her eye brows shooting up.

"No, it just gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive?" Rick probed.

"You tell me."

Rick looked at the image closer. "It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark."

"Dark, lifeless. The frontal lobes, the human parts, that doesn't come back. Just a shell of yourself."

"Do you think they have any memories?" Alice asked. Dr. Jenner looked at her.

"I can't say for sure." He admitted. "I don't think so considering the brain is dead. The only way I could answer that for you is to become a walker, but then I definitely wouldn't be able to answer you huh?" he joked darkly.

Alice stayed silent, but nodded. It scared her even more when she thought about becoming one of those things. A few hours ago they all were in jolly moods, sipping wine and eating a meal that wasn't game Daryl caught. Now they were in a lab with heavy hearts and watching what a simple scratch or bite from an infected person could do to them.

The patient started to thrash around violently. They stopped moving when a bright light shot through their head.

"Oh God, what was that?" Carol asked.

"He shot his patient in the head," Andrea answered. "didn't you?"

Jenner continued to stare at the screen, not answering the question. They knew what he did and knew it had to be done. There was no point confirming what everyone already knew. "Vi, power down the main stream and work station" the screen turned off.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?"

"It could be a few things. Parasitic perhaps."

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui suggested from the back of the room, her cheeks tear stained from the watching the video.

"There is that."

"Someone has to know what's going on, right?" Alice suggested. "This isn't the only CDC is the world. I'm sure-"

"Maybe." Dr. Jenner interjected. She was a hopeful young woman, but it was a waste. Hope wasn't going to fix the problem. "There may be some people like me left out there."

"You don't know? How don't you know?" Rick asked, growing frustrated from the lack of useful answers.

"Everything went down. I've been in the dark for almost a month."

"So it's not just here? There's nothing left anywhere, that's what you're really saying." Andrea walked to a desk and slid down it, cradling her knees to her chest.

Daryl rubbed his face hard with his hands. "Man, I wanna get shitfaced drink again."

Alice leaned against a desk and hung her head low. She was quickly starting to lose hope that things would get better. She eyed the cross on her bracelet. What if this was the wrath of God? What if anyone surviving wasn't in his master plan? She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. This was starting to feel like one sick joke. She wanted to keep her faith strong, but it was getting harder. Her parents and sister were dead, Amy was dead, Jim was dead, and the dead ruled the world. She believed as strongly as she could, but what God would do this? It made her stomach churn when she realized how dark her thoughts had gotten and she quickly abandoned them. No, her faith was what kept her alive and she refused to let it go.

"Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but that clock is counting down." Dale motioned to the large digital clock on the wall. "What happens at zero?"

"The uh basement generators run out of fuel." He answered quickly as he started to walk away.

"And then?" ignoring Rick, Dr. Jenner left the room. "Vi, what happens when the fuel runs out?"

"When the power runs out, facility wide decontamination will occur."

"Decontamination?" Alice repeated, looking up. "I don't like how that sounds."

"Listen, I want you guys to go back to your rooms. Shane, T-dog, and Glenn come with me to the basement, we're gonna check on the fuel."

* * *

"This is crazy. We came all the way here just to find out it's been a hopeless situation this whole time."

"Don't talk like that Andrea."

"Look around you Alice, look where we are. We're in the CDC. If anyone would know what's going on it would be the people who work here. They deal with dangerous illnesses all the time and none of them are alive expect one man." Andrea stood up from her bed and started to pace the small room the two women shared. "They knew there was no answer for this, that's why they opted out."

"You heard what Dr. Jenner said though. He's been in the dark for a month, that doesn't mean everyone else has been. Maybe someone does know something."

Andrea let out a bitter laugh. "I would love to live in whatever world you do."

"What?" Alice frowned, not caring much for the tone Andrea was using with her.

"You're always so hopeful, looking for the good. I got news for you Alice, it's over. It won't get better from this point on. If someone knew something, don't you think this problem would be under control by now?"

"Just because you've given all hope up, doesn't mean we all have to. If you wanna be negative about everything, go ahead, but don't stab at what I believe and make fun of me for holding on to the thought that someone knows something. You ain't the only one that lost family. Using that as an excuse to quit fighting ain't a good one. Don't use it to try and make everyone else wanna call it quits."

Andrea looked at the young woman, surprised by how severe her tone had been. Since she had met Alice, back when her group joined with Dale's, Andrea hadn't known her to stick up for herself. Andrea pegged her to be a pushover that would never grow a backbone. It was her biggest hang up with Alice, but something had shifted in her all of a sudden. She had spoken up about something she didn't agree with without hesitation for the first time.

Both women suddenly noticed the room was too silent. The soft buzz of the air conditioner had stopped. Andrea put her hand up to the vent and frowned.

"What the fuck? It's off."

"That's strange. Maybe it's just our room or something." Andrea nodded, but looked unsure. The lights flickered then went off. "Something's wrong."

* * *

**A/N: I have to admit, this wasn't my favorite part to write about but is needed. We all know what happens and there wasn't much of a spin I could put on it *sad face*. Only one more part left until it's sequel time! Yay!**

**And I know I've taken my sweet time putting this chapter out but I've been super busy. Anyway, as always, thank you to everyone who reads and reviews! Thanks to everyone who also favorite this and follows ^_^ **


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own TWD or it's characters.

A/N: This is the last chapter, but the**_ s_****_equel is already up and ready to be read! _**

* * *

Alice and Andrea exited their rooms to see what was going on and saw everyone already in the hallway. The bright lights were now dim. Dr. Jenner made his way down the hall, ignoring all the questioning stares he had received.

"Why has the air gone out?" Lori asked.

"And the lights too." Alice added.

"What's going on?" Daryl asked, holding his bottle of Southern Comfort. Jenner strolled past him, grabbing the bottle.

"Energy is being prioritized."

Dale frowned, following behind Dr. Jenner. "Air isn't a priority?"

He took a swig of the whisky before answering. "It isn't up to me. This place is shutting itself down." Everyone looked at each other before following behind Dr. Jenner.

"Hey!" Daryl called, trying to get the doctor to stop. "Hey, what does that mean?" he asked, even though Dr. Jenner still hadn't stopped. "Hey, man I'm talking to you. What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How can a building do that?"

"You'd be surprised." He cryptically spoke before entering the computer lab. Lori looked over the railing as Jenner went down the stairs and saw Rick.

"Rick?" she called. He looked up at her and signaled that he was alright.

"Jenner, what's going on?"

"The system is dropping all the non-essential uses of power. It is designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second. I believe we just passed the half hour mark." He pointed to the giant digital clock. "We're on schedule." He took another large gulp of whisky before handing it back to Daryl, who snatched the bottle. "It was the French."

Alice tilted her head slightly. "The French?"

"They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. A lot of people were bolting out the door and committing suicide. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened to them?" Alice asked.

"The same thing that's happening here. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean how stupid is that?" he asked, spreading his arms out before walking to his computer.

Shane frowned deeply before lunging at the doctor. "Let me tell you something!"

Rick pulled him back. "To hell with it Shane!"

"He doesn't even care!"

"Lori, grab our things! Everyone get your things! We're getting out of here now!" Rick yelled, still holding a struggling Shane.

Everyone stopped moving when red lights started to flash and an obnoxious beeping sound began.

"Dad what's going on?" Carl ran from his mother and to his father, holding tightly to his midsection.

"30 minutes until decontamination." Vi informed everyone as the large screen turned on and showed numbers that were counting down.

"Doc, whats going on here?!" Shane demanded as Jenner calmly started to punch numbers in on a keypad. "Yall heard Rick! Hurry up and go get your stuff!"

T-dog nodded and started to lead the way. "Let's go!" before anyone could reach the exit, a steel door slammed down.

Glenn looked around wildly. "Did you just lock us in?" he started to panic. "He just locked us in!"

Jenner sat down and began to record a message, ignoring everyone running in panic.

"Carl!" Lori screamed.

"Son of a bitch!" Daryl yelled, springing at Dr. Jenner.

"Shane!" Rick yelled, signaling him to catch Daryl. Shane grabbed the man, but he already had a hold on the collar of his lab coat. T-dog ran over and broke the hold Daryl had. Dr. Jenner fixed his coat, but looked shaken up.

"Open the door now!" Rick ordered, watching Shane hit the door from the corner of his eyes.

"No point. Everything is locked down, the emergency exit is sealed."

"Then unseal it!" Alice plead. Tears of fear and frustration began to fall from her eyes. "Please doctor! Don't do this to us!"

"I'm sorry," he gave her a sympathetic look. "I can't control that. The computers do. I told you once that front door closes, it wouldn't be opened again. You heard me say that."

"We didn't think you meant we would never be able to leave!" she yelled, tugging at the roots of her hair.

"I know you don't see it now Alice, but it's better this way."

"What way?!" Rick yelled. "What happens in 28 minutes? What happens in-"

"Do you know what this place is?!" Dr. Jenner yelled, making Alice shrink back. He stood up from his seat, pushing it back. "We've protected the public from nasty stuff. Small pox, emboli strands that could take out half the country out! Stuff you don't ever want getting out!" he sat back down and composed himself. "In an event of a catastrophic power failure," he spoke more calmly. "a terrorist attack for example, HIT is employed to prevent any organism from getting out."

"What's HIT?" Alice asked, almost afraid to find out.

"Vi, define."

"HIT's an aerosol ignition that produces a blast way above significantly greater power and duration of any other known explosive except nuclear. It causes the greatest loss of life and damage to structures."

"It sets the air on fire." Dr. Jenner explained. "It brings an end to suffering and grief. It ends… Everything. It's better this way. You know what's out there, a short brutal life. An agonizing death." He looked at Andrea who had sat down, cradling her knees to her chest. "Your sister, what was her name?"

"Amy." She numbly answered.

"Amy. You seen what it does." He looked to Rick. "Is that what you want for your wife and son?"

"I don't want this!" he answered.

Shane smacked one of the desks. "Can't make a dent."

"Those doors are designed to stand a rocket launcher."

Daryl let out a frustrate grow before running at Jenner with an ax he found. T-dog, Shane, and Glenn held the raging man back.

Ignoring him, Dr. Jenner began to speak. "You do want this Rick. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everyone you loved was dead."

Lori looked at her husband, horrified by the new information. Shane frowned.

"You really said that?" Shane questioned. "After all you been talking?"

Rick looked at Lori. "I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?"

"There is no hope. There never was." Dr. Jenner spoke.

"There is hope. Maybe it won't be with you, maybe not here, but there has to be. Somebody, somewhere."

Andrea rolled her eyes. "What part of everything is gone don't you understand?"

"Listen to your friend. This is it, this is what takes us down. Out extinction event."

"Damn." Shane muttered.

"This isn't right!" Carol cried, holding her daughter to her chest. "You can't keep us here!"

"It's just one tiny millisecond. No pain." Dr. Jenner assured.

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this!"

"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to hold your love ones and wait for the clock to count down?"

Shane grabbed a shot gun that Dr. Jenner had laying around and cocked it.

"Shane, no!" Alice yelled as he pointed it at the doctor. Rick ran in front of him.

"Get out of my way!" he pushed past Rick roughly and aimed the gun directly in the mans face. "I will blow your head off, do you hear me?!"

"Brother, this is not the way you do this, we'll never get out of here."

"Shane, you listen to Rick!" Lori yelled.

"Please Shane! If you kill him, we're gonna die in here!" Alice tried to reason. Shane let out a scream and fired his gun at a computer. Rick managed to wrestle it away and knocked him to the ground. Everyone froze, looking at Rick.

"Are you done now?" he asked.

"I'm done." Shane mumbled, laying on the floor still.

"I know you're pissed brother, we all are. And I think you're lying Jenner."

"What?"

"I think you're lying about there being no hope. It you really believed that, you would have bolted out of here with everyone else. But you didn't, you stayed. You chose the hard path, why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, it will always matter. You stayed when others ran, why?"

"It's not because I wanted to. I made a promise to her." He pointed to the large screen. "My wife!"

It suddenly clicked in Alice's head. "She was Test Subject 19, wasn't she?"

He nodded. "She begged me to keep going for as long as I could. How could I tell her no when she was dying?" Daryl ran to the door and began hitting it with his ax. "I should have been the one on that table dying, not her. She ran this place, I just worked here. In our field, she was Einstein. She could have done something about this, not me."

"Your wife didn't have a choice, but you do. That's all we want, a chance."

"Let us keep trying as long as we can." Lori pleaded.

Dr. Jenner sighed. "I told you, once the outside locks down, I can't open it." He walked over to the keypad and pushed in a few numbers. The door opened.

"Come on!" Daryl yelled. Everyone started to run out.

Dr. Jenner looked at Rick. "There's your chance. Take it."

"I'm grateful."

He stood up from his seat. "There will come a day when you won't be." Dr. Jenner leaned forward and whispered in Rick's ear. His face dropped as he moved away. Alice eyed him curiously, but remained silent.

"Come on!" Glenn yelled. "We got four minutes left!"

Jacque looked back and pulled away from T-dog. "I'm staying sweety."

"What? That's insane. Let's go!" he tried to grab her.

"No, it's completely sane. For the first time in a long time. I'm not ending up like Jim and Amy. There's no time to argue. Not if you wanna get out. Just get out." She pushed T-dog away. "Get out!"

"I'm staying too." Andrea spoke.

"Andrea no." Dale reached out, but she pulled back.

"Dale, times running out." Alice informed him.

"Go, I'll meet you there." She gave a hesitant nod before running up the dark flight of stairs.

* * *

Once they got upstairs, the men started to hit the windows with whatever they could find, but not a dent was made. T-dog even hit it with a chair.

"Dog, get down!" Shane warned as he fired his gun at the window, but the bullet just bounced off.

"Mommy, the glass won't break?" Sofia asked, her voice shaking.

Alice grabbed onto Glenn's arm tightly. He wanted to reassure her they would get out, but he wasn't so sure himself. Rick ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He had no idea how he was going to worm everyone out of this. He glanced back at his son. He had to figure something, he couldn't let his son die like this.

Carol's suddenly lit up as she remembered something that was in her bag. How could she forget it was there? "Rick, I think I have something that could help."

Shane rolled his eyes. What could she have that would be of assistance. "Carol, I don't think a nail file is gonna cut it."

"Will this help?" she asked as she dug out a hand grenade, ignore Shane's rudeness. Rick ran over and grabbed it. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't. There was only one way to find out.

"Where did you get this?"

"I found it in your pant pocket when I was washing your clothes."

"Thank you." Rick walked back over to the window and took a deep breath. He was never much of a prayer, he left that to Alice, but now he silently prayed this worked. For the sake of his son. "Get down!" he yelled as he pulled the latch from the grenade and threw it. Everyone dropped to the ground. Alice felt Glenns arm over her back, pressing her to the floor as if it would protect her more. It took a second for it to register in Ricks head that he probably should find cover.

The grenade exploded, shaking the ground. Alice felt fallen chips from the ceiling land in her hair. She slowly looked up, almost scared to find the windows still intact. She let out a strange sound as she jumped to her feet, pulling Glenn up. It was something between a relieved laugh and a struggled sob.

The window shattered. Had the CDC building not been ready to explode, everyone would have appreciated how well the grenade worked. Rick led the way, speeding out of the building. He wasn't sure how much time was left, but he knew it wasn't much. He ran into the RV, swinging the door open so hard that it slammed against the side of the vehicle. Luckily the fear of getting car jacked was the last thing anyone had to worry about, so keys were always left in the ignition. Rick jumped into the driver's seat and was relieved to see Lori and Carl were right behind him.

Alice ran as fast as she could, her calf's beginning to burn. For a moment, she thought of how much it would suck to survive walkers, but die halfway to the RV by an explosions impact. Actually, it would be kind of funny, but she didn't want that to be the way she died. Reaching the RV, Alice threw herself in. Forgetting for a moment there were stairs, she tripped, but quickly scampered inside. Still on her hands and knees, she crawled to the table and pulled herself up. Looking out the window, she saw Dale and Andrea. Relief washed over her in a large wave. Dale was fine.

The pair had made it halfway across the lawn when the building exploded. The RV rocked dangerously back and forth. Alice flew into the wall, her back hitting it hard enough to knock the air out of her. She let out a hiss of pain when the vehicle jerked back onto all four wheels and forced her thin body into the table. The unexpected impact caused the table to dig into her stomach. There was going to be a bruise on her stomach.

Andrea stormed into the RV, looking less than happy to be alive. Dale stumbled in behind the blonde at a slower pace. No one spoke, unsure of what to say and trying to process what happened. They were so close to death and yet they made it through.

* * *

Alice leaned her head against the window, her eyes glued on what was the CDC. The building was engulfed in flames and walkers were stumbling over to the noise in large hordes. The reality of what was going on started to hit her. Nowhere was safe and no one knew the answers to how this all would end. Glenn sat across from her silently, his face giving away that he was in deep thought. He too was trying to make sense of things.

For a moment, Alice wondered if it would have been better to stay with the doctor and Jacqui. Maybe they had it right all along, it was better to opt out then fight to live in a world that promised nothing. Her blue eyes drifted to the sky. It was a clear day, the sun was shining bright and not a cloud was in sight. It was deceitful and gave no insinuations of what was going on below the sky.

Was it worth it? Was there really any point to keep trying to survive? Many thoughts crowded Alice's mind. She glanced behind her to the drivers seat, looking at the back of Rick's head. He had voiced his doubts to her and while she had assured him that there was a way, she began to question her own words. Amy. Jim. Jacqui. They were gone now and while their deaths were tragic, it seemed like a blessing could be found in it.

They didn't have to wake up worrying if today was the day they died. They didn't have to lay in bed at night, praying to sleep without an attack from walkers or humans with ill intent. All the worries the living still had they no longer suffered.

So much had changed and long gone were the days of 'Nurse Walsh, the unhappy wife of Shane, friend of the Grimes, woman with a miserable life'. Problems from those times seemed distant and trivial now. It was all about surviving. But could she do it? Could she be strong enough to fight to live, or would she lay down and accept that her days were numbered as were everyone else's.

She shook her head. Life was hard in general and while she didn't blame Jacqui for what she did, it was the easy way out. It would be easy to give up and let death have her, but she had taken the easy way in life for years. Being afraid of confrontation, she never voiced her opinions. Being afraid of displeasing her parents (not that they ever really seemed pleased), she did what they always told her even when she strongly disagreed. In fear of losing Shane, she let him walk all over her. He had dishonored their marriage vows and she stayed because it was easier that way. She didn't argue with him even when he was beyond wrong because it was easier. Every major decision she made was due to the ease it provided her.

This situation was difficult. Fucked up in every way really, but opting out wasn't the answer. For Alice, it wasn't even an option anymore.

There was no guarantee that Alice would live to see the outcome of things. Jessica didn't and she was stronger than Alice ever could be. She wanted to honor her late sister and was ashamed that the thought of giving up had crossed her mind again. She made the right decision in leaving. Life was a challenge and she was ready to accept it. She would rely on herself and her gun to push her through as far as she could go. Nothing would be easy anymore, but now she had an option she had refused many times before. She had the option of living for herself the way she saw fit. She would take it, no questions asked any more. There were no parents, sister, or husband to hide behind.

Alice reached down to the waistband of her jeans, caressing the cool steel of her gun. This weapon represented a new outlook on things. It was the only thing that would never fail her, it was the only thing she knew she could count on to always have her back. With a rather large exhale, she let go of all the remaining fears and cowardliness of the old Alice.

Those parts of her were better off dead.

_'Only God knows where the story ends for me, but I know where the story begins.'_

* * *

A/N: And so ends 'World Without Words'. The last line is from the song 'No More Drama' by Mary J. Blige which is what inspired this story in the first place. There wasn't any Rick and Alice action in the last two parts, but I don't think them thinking about their feelings at that moment would have been appropriate. But fear not! The sequel will be more centered on them.

'World Without Words' was really just to establish things between them so things would flow more naturally in the sequel. Things finally take off in the second part to this.

Thank you for reading my story and I appreciated the reviews, follows and favorites. It's good to know people like my work =)

**The sequel is up already **and is titled 'I Lost My Manual on How to Survive an Apocalypse'.

I hope you like that one as much as World Without Words!


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